Are you first or last in line?

In the Army, when they're in the field or out on maneuvers, an implied rule is officers are supposed to eat last...after their soldiers do.

It's not always something overly intuitive to young lieutenants. They learn quickly, however, when they get in line with everyone else and then are pulled aside by some higher ranking officer and set straight.

In the modern military, no one is going to go hungry...the worst that might happen is that the cooks run out of the main course and the officers might have to do with leftovers or something less appealing.

Still, there is strong symbolism here. You take care of your people because the people perform the mission...not the leaders. You ensure they're properly clothed and fed, rested and trained. You see to it that they're properly led. Without the soldiers, the leaders are nothing. Some of the officers "get" the symbolism, responding accordingly...and some never do.

It's no different in the civilian world. Do we not realize? Are we too busy with our own projects and problems? Is it too much trouble or that we just don't know how to do it. Do we not care?

OR is it that we think we deserve to be first in line? After all, we've invested a lot of time and effort to help the company grow and be stronger. While there are perks that come with working your way to the top of an organization, we can never afford to let a core leadership principle -- taking care of our people -- slip away from us.

Take a look at your organization and try to determine the commitment level the leadership has to the workers. If you're not happy with what you see, then maybe it's time to start working on a culture shift.

You won't truly have your team's commitment until they know they have yours.

WIIFM...You'd better believe it

WIIFM is what makes the world go around. WIIFM or "What's In It For ME" is an acronym that's been around a long time in the business world. It sometimes surprises me when I use the term or phrase and people haven't heard about it.

The thing about WIIFM isn't what it is, but what it represents. Look at the people around you...family, friends, colleagues, CUSTOMERS. Everyone of them work in the world of WIIFM at one time or another and may not even realize it or if they do, may not know how to express it.

If you're goal is to help others get what they want whether it be any of the people mentioned above, you have to understand that WIIFM.

How can you find out what someone's WIIFM is on a particular subject?

ASK!

Two great things you can do to help meet another's WIIFM is to:

1. Actively Listen
~Two ears and one mouth means "shut your pie hole"...remember, it's about the other person, not you. Since most of us like to talk about ourselves, resist the urge and let the other person do the talking.
~Focus on the words and ideas the other person is sharing so that mean's multi-tasking and thinking about what YOU are going to say next are "No-Nos".
~Just speak to ask clarifying questions and don't interrupt.

2. Practice Empathy
~Empathy means putting yourself in the other person's position and to do that you might need to be willing to temporarily "suspend your beliefs" about a subject so you can truly understand what the other party is trying to share.
~Be respectful, whether you agree or not. We all want to be treated with respect.

If you understand people's WIIFM when you interact and can use the skills of listening and empathy, you can help ensure you can relate to them in the way to help them be successful...and that could make your very successful, too (...that's your WIIFM, right?).

Start your week off right -- Encourage someone around you

Here's a great idea for first thing Monday morning.

Take 5 minutes before your day "officially" starts and write a personal note to someone in your office whether it be a colleague or team member (you could even write one to your boss if it didn't appear like you were kissing up too much).

The point is that everyone likes to know others think positively about them. You don't have to write something really profound or special to someone other than to tell him or her that you're glad you're on the same team.

One idea I heard about was a manager who bought a 1 or 2 dollar box of plain note cards with a generic design on the outside. Then, this person made a list of all the people he worked with. He tore the paper into strips with a different name on each strip and put them into a cup. Each morning over a few week period he pulled a different name out of the cup and wrote a personal note. He got to work before most others in the morning so he slipped the note onto the recipient's desk so they would realize the note some time during the day.

I understand that while some recipients liked the notes, they discarded them soon. Others held onto the cards to remind them of positive thoughts from someone else. Regardless, all of them appreciated receiving the notes.

Sharing encouragement and appreciation can be expressed in many differnt forms. This particular one is easy and inexpensive, but can potentially have a significant impact.

You have the power to positively impact someone else. Don't waste the opportunity.

Commitment to Service...It's not always pretty

Pretty much everyone I know likes to do nice things for other people. It's easy and sometimes fun to do nice things, helpful things, for others.

What about when doing the nice thing, doing the helpful thing, do the right thing is just plain inconvenient, or hard, or messy or distasteful?

When my grandfather was alive and going through the last stages of Alzheimer's, my mother (Gpa's daughter-in-law) went to visit him most, if not every, day. She did his laundry, she talked to him, she made over him, she made sure he had everything he needed and did so with a smile on her face...she was totally committed and there for him. Some of the things my mother had to do for him were pretty distasteful, but she didn't flinch. Gpa wasn't always coherent and didn't speak most of the time so he didn't say "thank you" very much, but my mother wasn't doing it for the praise. She was doing it because she was cheerfully committed to him.

My mother learned this servant attitude well. Both her parents had it and my grandmother (my mother's mother) modeled it regularly with her own family as well as other people around her.

I can't say I learned it as well as my mother did. One time, when my mother couldn't visit Gpa, she had my sister, brother, and me go over to the nursing home. One of the things that needed to be done was to put some kind of cream on Gpa's legs because they were so chapped and dry. I was the one to put the cream on. I was getting it done in my normally thorough way when my brother looked down at me and said, "Bob...you're face." I said "what about my face?" He said, "you need to wipe that look off your face."

Evidently, I had a really disgusted look on my face that must have made it appear like I was sticking my hand in a dirty toilet. Hopefully, my Gpa didn't see my expression or perhaps it didn't register with him. I hope not.

So, commitment got me through the distaste. And I was doing my duty so that was a good start, but I was lacking a spirit of empathy and compassion. Those things can take you the rest of the way to cheerful service.

Let's all look at how we provide service to those around us and do our best to provide it in a positive, empathetic and uplifting way...even when it's not pretty.

Correcting Your People, "Carpet Bombing"-Style

Yesterday, I wrote about leaders who lavishing their praise on the whole team regardless of whether all the team members deserved it. Today, it's the flip side -- carpetbombing, or a broad, general attack on the whole team when, in reality, the leader's correction really only applies to one or a few of the team members...and he or she just tries to avoid the confrontation.

I would love to say I've never done this, but...I can't. In fact, I did this very thing in the past year. I made a correction to my whole team when only one person needed to hear it. Thankfully (although I didn't enjoy it at the time) another of my team members, "Ella" called me after the meeting where I had applied the "correction". She said, "Did I do ________? I don't remembering doing that." I then admitted that I had "carpet bombed" the team and that "Sue" really was the only person who needed to hear my correction. Then Ella rightly said, "Well, then why did I have to hear it? Why didn't you get with Sue directly?" Ella was soooo right. So, I sheepishly thanked her for bringing my error to my attention; then I called Sue and let her know more directly what needed to change.

If Ella had not had the strength and conviction to let me know she didn't appreciate my actions, I might have left most of my team either wondering if they had messed up or resenting me for calling them on something they didn't do (thankfully, I don't think the rest of my team did, this time, anyway) or both.

Save yourself a lot of the grief I caused myself and just deal with your errant team members directly. If you've been coaching regularly, the interaction really shouldn't be a confrontation or even a big deal for you or the "offender" and everybody on the team will be happier.

"He Who Praises Everybody, Praises Nobody"

If you're reading the blog on Thursday, 6/11/09, the "famous quote" for the day is reflected in the title of this blog.

Samuel Johnson, a famous British author from the 18th century, had it right. We, especially in America, I think, are so worried about everybody being happy and fulfilled while at the same time we, as bosses are afraid of confrontation, that we can often go down the path of praising everybody regardless...regardless of results, regardless of effort, regardless of attitude.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a strong believer in improving the lives of the people around me, but every one of us has the responsibility to do the best job we can do...all the time. If we don't do our best, our bosses have the right, no -- RESPONSIBILITY, to let us know and help us get back on track.

Some of us seem to think, as leaders, that taking care of our people means making them feel wonderful all the time. I challenge all leaders to look at taking care of their people along the lines of...

~teaching them good habits, like how to be efficient and effective
~helping them learn new skills and activities that will help them grow in their jobs
~developing their thought processes and characteristics to move their careers forward and achieve greater successes

...all in the framework of strengthening the group or organization, which makes us all better, AND can help your team members feel empowered, get promoted, and make more money (and maybe you, too, for being such an awesome boss).

Praise thoughtfully and judiciously...it's really the fair way, isn't it?

Efforts Don't Necessarily Yield Results

Wow! That's harsh, isn't it?

That's what I thought the first time I heard it, too. I was a young officer standing before my commander who was asking me why something hadn't taken place. He was hitting me pretty hard about it. I was feeling very defensive and said, "Sir, I tried really hard to make this happen." And you, of course, know what his response was, right? "Well, Captain Hall, efforts don't necessarily yield results". Man, I was mad. I already wasn't too crazy about this boss and was working very hard to please him. Then I get a response like this?

As you might imagine, this interaction stuck with me for a long time. Six or seven years later, a VP in my company made a similar statement when expressing his expectations in a meeting. I felt compelled to speak up, being "proactively defensive", and did a poor job explaining my concerns with his statement. Later, I went to him to describe what I meant and touched a little bit on my perspective. This guy was pretty thoughtful and he said, "how about this? I acknowledge efforts, but I reward results."

Now that was a statement that I could not argue against.

We're hired to get results. It doesn't matter the task...as long as it's not illegal or immoral, we need to complete what we're given to do. If we don't get results, our bosses can rightly hold us responsible.

After my "run in" with the colonel way back when, I should have asked myself these questions (I can't remember if I did):

Did I start the task on time?

Did I understand the objective?

Did I seek help from others?

Did I take the task seriously enough?

If there were issues that I needed guidance on or that I couldn't handle, did I take them to my boss for assistance?

Will I make these same mistakes again?

So, how can you work to make sure you don't end up in the same boat I did? Run through the questions at the beginning of the task or assignment, not at the end, like I probably did then.

When do I need to start the task to ensure it's completed on time?

Do I understand the objective?

Is there anything that I'm unclear about?

Do I need to involve others to provide assistance?

Do I understand the priority and weight of this task?

All those around us count on us to get results...our organization, our bosses, our peers, our team members. We need to ensure we plan and organize our duties to get the job done. If we don't, there's only one person to blame.