3 "People" in the conversation

Yesterday, I was providing some coaching advice specific to how to best communicate with a team member who is not doing what the boss wants. I was explaining that it's very important for the person being coached not to think he or she is being attacked.

The key is to look at such a coaching situation like there are 3 people in the conversation:

• Boss
• Team member
• Action (offense)

During the session, the boss must ensure he or she addresses the "offense" separate from the "offender". Therefore, Suzie is not bad. Instead, what Suzie did or failed to do was bad. When the boss and team member are able to focus on the offense, hopefully, the team member will be able to interact more objectively and progress can be made.

For more information on both situational and ongoing coaching, follow this link to my 5-part series.

A Man of Success

Albert Einstein once said, "Try not to become a man of success but a man of value."

When you are a professional, whether it be in business, in the government, or part of another organization, you are often pushed to be successful at just about any cost. You've seen it. You've seen people so focused on success that it's all they can do, all they can think about.

How do you measure success? Many of us measure from a perspective of:

• Fame
• Fortune
• Power
• Influence

So many times, these measurements are focused almost solely on ourselves. They can be very selfish and self-serving. I think Einstein is saying that the focus of our lives can't be primarily or even mostly about ourselves. It's just that a life focused totally inward seems kind of an empty existence.

I've mentioned it before: most all the motivational speakers out on the circuit today (people like Zig Ziglar) will say you can't be a true success until you've helped people around you be successful. For the majority of people, possessions don't really make them happy, not long-term, anyway. It's the people around us, people we care about, who do that. It's about relationships and being valuable to others.

"Try not to become a man of success but a man of value." In the end, that's where true success lies.

Criticism...Embrace it.

I'm on to another post based on a quote that I read and found thought-provoking. Here is today's quote: “To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” ~Elbert Hubbard

None of us likes being criticized. We want people to like us or, at least, to respect us. We often identify our ideas and our work with our self-worth. Therefore, when they are being criticized, it can sometimes make us feel like we're being personally attacked.

What do so many of us do when we're being attacked? We either seek to deflect the attacks or we fight back. Mr. Hubbard's quote seems to be focusing more on the "avoidance" or deflection reaction to criticism.

Criticism, even if it isn't positive, can still be such a positive event for us because it can be a catalyst of change or at least a catalyst of evaluation and circumspection. How can we ever improve if we get no feedback -- positive or otherwise -- about how we're doing? Plus, as Nietzsche said, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger". Criticism, and the growth that can come from it, certainly can make us stronger.

I would much rather be known for looking at my criticisms mostly objectively (even if I do take some of them a little personally) and growing from them, than someone who is so afraid of what others might think that I am either paralyzed into total nothingness, being just a lump of a person, or that I become Yes Man, constantly working to agree with everyone. The result is the same: a lost identity. No, thanks.

What do you think about criticism, even when it is negative? Can it still be useful if it's not as nice as we'd like?

Glass 1/2 Full

Recently, I wrote about how bosses are responsible for the mood of the teams they lead (see post here). Then, the quote that showed up on my blog yesterday (9/19), from Norman Vincent Peale, said: Change your thoughts and you change your world. That quote, from the king of positive thinking, also reminds me of my post "if you wanna be somebody else, change your mind."

It's great to have positive thoughts, read positive ideas, and work to exude a positive attitude. You know what is absolutely priceless? It's having other people on your team who understand and live the "positive" perspective of life.

I was very blessed to work with a person on my last team who was all about the positive. It's not that she was all "Pollyanna" and looked at the world in an unrealistic manner. She just chose to react to both her and the team's situations with a positive outlook most of the time.

Her mantra was "glass 1/2 full, glass 1/2 full" when anyone else on the team responded to situations in a less than positive manner. In fact, my colleague's words and attitude were such a good example, that I've even gotten into the habit of saying "glass 1/2 full" when I encounter negativity.

A positive attitude doesn't fix all the ills of the world or of the situations around us, but it sure can help us cope with them better.

All Work and No Fun

Don't you love it when a boss makes one of those "encouraging" presentation to the troops? It seems that one of the obligatory bullet points is about having fun: "Work has to be fun!" "One thing we have to be sure we do...is have FUN!" In fact, if workers aren't having fun, they should find another job. Wow, that's such an empty statement. How out of touch or disingenuous are these bosses?

I've never heard one person say "I'm going to fun now" when heading to the office. Work is work and fun is fun. While sometimes they are the same thing (and that's great for those people who feel that way...although one could wonder what the rest of their lives are like if work is the best part of the day), most often they are two very distinct concepts.

While I have trouble with the "work is fun" concept, I do believe we can have fun with our co-workers as well as have rewarding experiences while at the office. I also believe that it's the boss's responsibility to help build an environment where positive events can happen. Two ways I'd like to share are:

1. Do Fun Stuff: I'm not talking about our tasks being fun. You can't count on that. What I am referring to is doing things that will put a smile on the faces of your team:

• Start off your daily huddle, weekly staff meeting, or other event with an activity to get people up and moving. One time, one of our team members made me sing a song because I was called away at the last minute and was "late" for our meeting. I sang "I'm a little teapot" with the motions to go with it. As a boss, you've got to be ready to shed any shred of dignity you have, every once in a while, to show you're human.
• Tell a joke whether it's good or bad (not off-color, though). I used to be known as the Chuck Norris jokester, with a list of really bad jokes that I shared. I can't tell jokes very well and the team heckling me was part of the fun.
• Leave them with a memorable quote. One of my team members always had a quote ready for the end of every meeting. Sometimes they were really memorable and sometimes they weren't, but it was still a positive way to send us back to work.

2. Build on Accomplishments: I always want my team to have a sense of purpose and be proud of what we do. I find it very fulfilling to be part of a team that works hard, meets tough goals, and then gets to see how meeting the goals helps another group or even the entire organization. The key is for the boss to make a big deal about what the team accomplished and let everyone know he or she is proud of them (it's good if you can get your boss to acknowledge the efforts and results, too).

Just like parents telling their kids they love them, bosses can never tell their team members too much that they are winners and that they are proud of them. The key here is to be sincere. If you don't mean it when you praise your people, they'll know.

Am I totally off base about work being fun? What other actions can bosses take to help themselves and their teams have fun at work?

Building Work Relationships

As managers and bosses, you have lots of responsibilities, right? You have to worry about P&L, customer service, staffing issues, etc.

I have another responsibility to add to your list: relationships. You are responsible for relationships. In this post, I'm not writing about relationships outside the organization, like with customers or vendors. I'm talking about relationships inside your organization. So, what relationships are you responsible for? I'll mention 3 primary ones for today:

Team Members: You have people working for you, people you need to guide, direct, encourage, teach, etc. It's very hard to do a good job at any of these facets of management without having a positive relationship with your people. Oh, you can be a boss without having much of a relationship with your team, but you want folks who are committed to the group and the mission, not just compliant. A positive relationship is required to have committed people...and it's your responsibility to develop it. I know that relationships are two-way, but you are the boss so the responsibility is yours. See my post on coaching and 1:1 meetings for ways to build team member relationships.

Peers/colleagues: All bosses should be busy (let's assume you all are) and don't have a lot of free time at work. Add to it that, more and more often, people work in less proximity to each other (especially managers). It's very easy to have very little to do with your peers. Maybe you get on conference calls with them periodically or you see them at regional or company meetings, but often there are very few times peers get together. So, how do you develop relationships with other managers, most of whom are not physically near you? Pick up the phone. Make an effort to talk with your colleagues, see how they're doing, ask their input on something you're doing, etc. Teamwork doesn't just have to happen in one branch, team or project group. Teamwork can happen when peers and colleagues have relationships established and then can call on each other when the occasion arises.

Bosses: I know I just mentioned, above, that supervisors are responsible for relationships with their people. I do believe they have the primary responsibility. Still, you're a professional, aren't you? You don't have to wait for your boss to establish communication in order for you to reach out. Find out how you can help him or her be successful. Volunteer to help with a project or item that your boss is working on. Be ready to give your input on an issue (even solicit the opportunity)...check in with your boss to see if he or she is doing OK. There's a good chance that your boss is also challenged in relationships with peers and colleagues and could use a friendly, trustworthy ear. You may have the opportunity to be that resource.

Positive relationships can definitely impact an organization, maybe even being a key factor in its success. As a manager and boss, it's your responsibility to help build and encourage those relationships. What other ways can you think of to build relationships inside an organization?

The Mood is on You

Have you ever heard the saying "if Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy"? Obviously, whoever came up with that saying was indicating that "Mama" affected the mood around the house. If she was upset, everybody was upset. If people weren't upset before they ran into Mama, they would be afterwards.

I do believe it's true, that in the workplace, if the boss isn't happy, nobody's happy. As a manager, do you realize the power that you wield? You set the tone for how the office will operate -- maybe for a particular day or maybe overall.

If you're a manager who wants to have a generally happy workplace for yourself and your people, then you've got to ensure that you project a positive and happy aura as much as possible. Now, it's not reasonable to think that any boss or manager is going to be in a good mood every day or that his or her life will always be hunky-dory. What I am saying is that you need to realize how your actions affect everyone around you in the office.

I guess it's fine to feel however you want to feel, but you owe it to your people -- the people who do the work, complete the mission, and make the operation "operate" -- to act like you're doing OK, to show you have a good handle on whatever situations are going on, and to help them feel they should be comfortable with you in charge. Let's face it, when workers are "down", their productivity suffers.

I challenge you to step back and take a look at yourself. Do you drag into the office in the morning? Do you grouse and complain about your boss or the leadership of the company? Do you whine about how business stinks? Do you just act depressed, in general?

If not, congratulations. Your work environment may be a pretty positive one. If so, STOP IT. Act positive and give your team another chance to be successful and fulfilled.

Great Leaders need to be Winners

Maybe I should restate and say that "Great Leaders need to act like Winners". So what is this all about? Well, one can argue that, to be a great leader, you have to have followers...people who want to follow you.

Let's think about this for a minute. I submit that people like to be involved with the best...the best deals, the best meals, the best gadgets, the best doctors, etc. Can you imagine saying "I go to the 2nd best surgeon around!" People don't want to think they have to settle for 2nd or 3rd choice and even if they realize it, they don't want to admit it and often will move to rectify the situation.

That takes me back to the theme of this post: people like to follow winners. Just like I discussed above, team members don't want to brag about being on the 2nd best team or having a 2nd or 3rd rate boss. Even if it's not a completely accurate belief or assumption, your folks want to follow a winner.

Is this a problem? What if you don't always win? Is that OK? Sure it is. You don't have to win every time to be a winner and definitely not to act like a winner.

This might beg the question, what does a winning leader look like or what traits does a winning leader display? Some traits might be:

• Quiet confidence: You act like you know what you're doing (see my post on this).
• A positive attitude: Need I say more?
• Treating team members like winners: People not only like to follow winners, they want to BE winners, too.
• Managing by influence: Instead of with a heavy hand.

If you act like a winner and treat your people like winners...you most probably are a winner and life's a whole lot better when you come at it from that angle.

What traits do you think a winning leader portrays?

Where does world-class service come from?

I've been reading a great book on service called "What's The Secret?" by John DiJulius. His writing has stirred a lot of my thoughts for me and has caused me to reflect a lot on what I believe regarding service. It has also caused me to remember my own experiences with service.

The quote I'm pondering today is "World-class service is not something you deliver. It's a result of something you are."

When I think of this quote, it takes me right back to thinking about the foundation of any organization, good or bad: culture.

OK, so you know that outstanding service is a key component of any successful business. Let's say that you've received feedback from multiple sources that your organization's customer service is sincerely lacking. You're not happy learning about your poor service level and you know it needs to get better right away. What do you do? As a boss or leader, you can't go to your team one day and say, “Listen up, people. Customer Service needs to tighten up right now. You need to start treating our customers better.” Well, you can, but there’s a good chance that your words will fall flat and fail to cause any significant changes to happen. Come on; your service levels probably didn’t become what they are overnight.

So how do you get your people facing the right direction? You need to start by asking yourself where they learned or failed to learn how to provide the outstanding service. You have to start at the beginning. You need to revisit what? You need to revisit the culture.

What is the culture of your team? Take a look at some of the primary components that make up a business culture and you can better answer the question:

Management Style -– Are you a micromanager or a heavy-handed boss? Or do you foster an environment where your people feel empowered to develop new ideas and to “do it their way” (within reason) as they work to fulfill the mission?

Respect -- Do you provide world-class customer service for your employees? Do you treat them with respect? Do they know you value them and their ideas? Do they treat each other with respect? People aren’t going to provide your customers what they’re not receiving, themselves.

Training -- Do your people know your expectations? Can they envision the customer service you seek? Do you have programs in place to teach them how to do their jobs well and provide the level of service that you want?

If you ask yourself the status of any of the above areas for your team, find them wanting and then respond with “I don’t have time to do that or build that”, you’ve already lost. You’re never going to move your team ahead toward providing the world-class service that you want and your customers deserve. Instead, you need to commit to living the culture you want with your people, modeling it just as parents model behavior for their children.

Are there other ways to help ensure your people are providing world-class service to your customers?

Don't Underestimate Yourself

I know people like this: people who underestimate themselves. It's really too bad, you know, because it's often only their perception instead of everyone else's reality. Still, people like this are all around us, aren't they?

I have family members, friends, and past colleagues who all struggle with problems of self-confidence. I have, too. It can be fairly debilitating at times, keeping people from trying, allowing them to quit an activity or group, or affecting how they present themselves to others. What's most frustrating about it is that so many people are really good at what they do, but just can't believe it about themselves.

When I was a young teenager, I used to read Sherlock Holmes books. One of the comments Holmes made, that still stays with me, is that it is just as bad to underestimate ourselves as it is to overestimate ourselves. That's really true, isn't it?

Like I said, there were times in my life when I questioned my abilities when I compared myself to others. I had to tell myself, "those other people aren't any better than you. They make mistakes. They fail. They're not any more perfect than you are." Telling myself these things really worked for me. Sometimes I had to tell myself more times than once, but it did work. The trick is to ensure you are doing your best while making statements to yourself like I did.

Another trick you can try is to think about one or two things you do really well, maybe better than most other people, and remind yourself of those things when you're feeling insecure.

Bottom Line: If you can step back for even a moment and look at yourself objectively and you can see you are:

• Prepared
• Practiced
• Poised

then there's no reason whatsoever to be beating yourself up. You can always do better, but so can everyone else around you. As someone told me about a general one time, "he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like me."

What other tricks do you know of to help offset the "underestimation blues"?

What are you building?

As leaders, we should constantly be building. We should be building up our people, we should be building relationships. We should be building on our successes - on what works for our team and our organization. We should be looking at what's not working and see if we can build something positive from whatever is lacking.

What is making me write all this? Well, I guess it's because I read a lot of blogs and that means I read a fair amount of ranting posts...ranting about what we don't like, what we think is wrong with other people or organizations, and what somebody needs to fix. I've even ranted a few times, myself. Ranting is probably cathartic at times, but when you step back and look at it, does ranting get you anywhere long-term?

So, what's our direction? We should ask ourselves that question on a regular basis. What's our direction? Are we moving forward? Are we marking time, stagnant in our work and maybe our lives? Or worse yet, are we moving backward, moving downward away from the positive parts of existence?

Each of us only has so much time on this earth. While we don't need to get maudlin about our lives as we age, it's not something we can just dismiss. At least it shouldn't be. If we're blessed with leadership qualities, we have a responsibility - no - mission to help build whenever we have the chance. People are looking to their leaders for direction and it's up to us to point them in the right way.

What are you building? What's your direction? If you don't know, give it some thought and get moving...forward.

Encourage Constructive Feedback

We all want to be great leaders and managers don't we? Hopefully, our bosses provide good feedback to us. Still, we can definitely learn from other people than just our bosses. There are several other key people in your work lives who can help you grow by providing their feedback: Peers, Mentors, and Team Members (people who report to you).

It's one thing to ask for feedback and it's another thing all together to mean it. How can you prove to your colleagues and your team members that you really do want and appreciate what they have to say?

1. Ask for the feedback (duh, I know, but they can't read your mind even though you may think they should).
2. Thank them for the feedback.
3. Act on it (if it makes good sense). If the feedback is correct, let them know they were right. Even if you decide not to act on it, let them know you considered the advice...that you were listening.
4. Acknowledge the change, but without making too big a deal of it. You don't want to go around bragging on what an enlightened and mature person you were for taking someone else's advice ("Oh look how great I am. I can even take feedback from the little people." No.).
5. If you don't like what you hear, don't take it out on the messenger. You asked for it.

We can't become great managers and leaders without dedicated people around us. The feedback and advice they will hopefully share can be invaluable for us, both personally and professionally.

Do you know of other ways to encourage feedback from peers and team members? Do they need to be communicated or just shown by our actions?

Step away from your people's work

I had someone mention to me that where she works, when people complete a project, the boss often redoes the work. Why would that be?

• Perhaps it is because the work produced is not up to the boss's standards. Perhaps the expectations were not totally clear so the boss had to change content.
• On the other hand, perhaps the boss likes work to be a certain way and the product has to look exactly like what the boss prefers.
• Finally, maybe the boss only trusts the work that he or she cranks out and anyone else's is just going to be less than suitable.

One of the examples above is about substance. The other two examples are about style and preference. If the quality of work turned into us, as bosses, is of substandard quality, we need to help our people understand what's wrong and give them the chance to correct the material. If the work is styled in a manner that isn't "us", we need to let it go. As the old saying goes, "there's more than one way to skin a cat". Our way is probably different than that of our team and it may not even be as good.

Either way, redoing our people's work is a sure way of stifling creativity and helping our folks become disengaged...two things we just can't afford.

So, I say again, "step away."

Are Leaders Born or Made? So What?

I was interviewing management candidates to run one of my company's offices in the Southeast. One of the questions I liked to ask was "Do you consider yourself a natural leader?"

That begs the question that's the title of this post: "are leaders born or made?" Maybe it would be better to ask "are most leaders born or made?"

One can argue that very few natural leaders have ever existed in the world, leaders who innately know how to inspire others to follow and hopefully accomplish feats and goals they never believed possible. On the other hand, could we not argue that all parents are natural leaders as soon as their children are born? If the definition of a leader is that others follow, then every parent is a leader for at least a little while. Maybe we should exclude parents from this discussion.

I've personally only known one or two people who I could consider "naturals" as leaders. All the rest had to learn it. For me, I just know that, in the adult, non-parenting world, I am not a natural leader. I think I'm a decent leader (of course, that's open to interpretation depending on who you ask and based on what time period we're talking about). Or rather, I'm a decent leader now and in the recent past. I spent a lot of time being schooled by the Army about how to be both a manager and a leader. That helped. What really helped me was failing at leadership over the years, recognizing my failures (either on my own or with help from others), and then caring enough to try and do better. It reminds me of an outstanding doctor who once told me, "you know why I'm head and shoulders above the other doctors around me? It's because I'm standing on a pile of bodies." Leadership is often like that, too.

Like I said, I was not born a leader. What about you? If you weren't born a leader, are you a decent leader now? How do you learn to be a leader?

I'll leave you with a comment I heard from a sergeant when I was in the Army. The comment was, "I wouldn't follow that man into battle." The meaning was, "I wouldn't trust that man with my life or the lives of my people." That man was the commander and, supposedly, the leader.

Would your people follow you into battle?

Encouraging A "Slacker" Teammate

I was recently asked, "How do you 'bring along' a slacker teammate?" That's a pretty broad question. What is meant by "slacker" -- someone who doesn't do his or her work? In this case, I think the question had to do more with people who are part of work or project teams outside their own normal duties. You've probably experienced it before. You are a member of a team where everyone may not be as engaged as they could be. Some people are pulling their weight and others are just marking time.

The answer is that you definitely DO NOT sweep the problem under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist. Obviously, the work or project team leader should be ensuring all members are doing there fair share. Still, work group team members have both the responsibility and the opportunity to help fellow team members be the best they can be, and in a way that supervisors may not be able to achieve:

Responsibility -- When we are team members, we all have the responsibility to help that team succeed even though being a team member is not part of our normal job duties. It's not just the boss or team leader's responsibility. True professionals look for ways to help the organization and those around them be better.

Opportunity -- Team members are not bosses...duh. Team members are peers and co-workers. We all have different levels of influence and experience. We have "horizontal" relationships that can hopefully allow our thoughts, suggestions, and ideas to be less threatening to others on our team.

Now that we've determined we want to try and help another team member with engagement issues, what do we do? Below are a few possibilities:

• Broach the issue of engagement. Sometimes others are not aware that they are not considered engaged or are willing to put in more effort when they realize their poor efforts are evident.
• Ask questions about how the "errant" team member feels about the work the team is doing. Talk through the feelings. Maybe the team member has negative feelings about the team and what the group is supposed to be accomplishing. Perhaps the team member doesn't understand what he or she is supposed to do.
• Challenge the team member to step up and support the rest of the team, even if being a team member is not something the other person really wants to be. We all do things from time to time that we don't LOVE. It's part of being a contributing member of society, let alone a team member at work.

Are there other ways to help peers become more engaged in work or project teams? Should you go to the team leader about the issues? If so, when should this occur?

Be Approachable

Leaders each have a persona. Leaders can be cocky and boisterous or quiet and unassuming. Regardless of the type of leader you are, to be effective you need to be approachable. Your people need to be able to go to you with problems or issues that are work-related and sometimes personal.

"I've told my people that I'm always available for them." Great. Glad to hear it.

"I have an Open-door policy." Wonderful.

These are great things to say. Do your words match your actions? Sometimes leaders send their team members multiple messages. Primarily, there's the message of availability, like above. The subtle (or not so subtle) secondary message(s) could be one or several of the following:

1. Door always closed, even with signs like "do not disturb."
2. Talking down to employees like they're stupid idiots when they come with problems, especially if the solutions seem simple to us. Sometimes we even say, "why do I have to think of everything?"
3. Killing the messenger (an oldie, but a goodie) when the message isn't as positive as we'd like.
4. The stare ("don't even think of talking to me right now").
5. Acting put out when asked to turn our attention away from what we're doing to talk to team members.
6. I'm a martyr and that's OK. "Go ahead and lay your troubles on an already overworked boss. Don't feel bad."

Sure, why would anybody have trouble approaching a boss who communicates mixed messages? It can be very troubling to employees and perhaps cause them to give up ever trying to connect with you.

I'm not trying to beat up on leaders too much today. It's just that, to be successful leaders, we need to have empathetic spirits (being able to walk in oure employees' shoes). We need to be able to relate and to be able to help lift the crap off our people, whatever they're dealing with (within limits, of course), so they can be efficient and effective. To do that, we have to be approachable.

We all want to be strong, positive leaders and bosses and I'm sure we are a lot of the time. However, like I've mentioned several times, leaders are on constant display and we're sending out messages to our people all the time. We just need to ensure the messages we want to send are the ones that are being transmitted.

This is a great coaching point for your younger leaders, too. When you're working with your less experienced managers and coaching them, help them understand how their words and actions need to fit together so their people will come to them with the issues weighing them down. Model this behavior for your younger leaders and your coaching will ring true.

Bottom Line: "a song is 10% lyrics and 90% music" (lyrics = words & music = actions) and a lot of time people remember the music much more easily than the words. Let's do our best to ensure our lyrics and music fit together harmoniously.

"Helicopter Management"

It sounds similar to another term used in our society today, doesn't it? That phrase is "helicopter parenting" and it refers to parents who hover over their kids to protect them and to solve all their problems.

"Helicopter management" connotes the same type of hovering that some bosses do when they try so hard to help make their people happy and protect them, etc. Some equate it with "taking care of your people." I couldn't disagree more. To me, it's a lot more about trying to make to employees like you or maybe trying to do things yourself because you don't trust your team not to mess up and make you look bad.

"Taking care of your people" means other things to me. It means teaching them to be productive (time management and organization skills, for example), coaching them about how to solve their own problems, challenging them to use their brains (see the post, "Well, What do you think you should do?" for more info), and nudging them out of their comfort zones to try new things (like getting up in front of an audience to present a book review or article or idea).

"Helicopter management" is a form of micromanagement, isn't it?

Think about how you interact with your team and look hard at the idea of "helicopter management". Does that describe you?

If you look bad, you are bad

Actually, this is only 1/2 of the phrase I tell people on my teams or leaders I've trained. The entire saying is "If you look good, you may or may not be good, but if you look bad, you are bad." Sentence structure-wise, it's not that great, but hopefully it conveys my meaning.

Let's expand a little. Perception is huge in life, isn't it? We judge and are judged constantly. We often make snap decisions regarding people by just the smallest thing or things we see. By "thing" I mean, neatness, vocabulary, writing, spelling, dress standards, etc.

In business, our credibility is everything (read more here). Because of that, we have to be aware of the "things" we are showing others. It shouldn't have to be that way, but it is. Perceptions, especially negative ones, are hard to overcome.

Here are a few "if you look bad" examples:

• Misspellings on a letter (especially on a resume or cover letter)
• Grammar and sentence structure issues in emails and documents (professionals really ought to be able to write...and so many cannot)
• Chomping your gum (or even chewing it in certain situations)
• Sloppy dress (unless that's the look you're going for...please say it isn't) and poor grooming
• Poor posture

There are lots of ways to present ourselves poorly, and there are ways to present ourselves positively. In the Army, the saying goes, "If it doesn't work, paint it", meaning at least it will look good and, on the surface, people may have a positive first glance.

Now, I'm not at all advocating fluff over substance, but let's face it. The judgments are real and are happening as I write. You can have the best ideas and best products in the world, but if people have anything less than positive thoughts regarding any of the reasons above or any others you might think of, your credibility will be hurt. Take a look at yourself and ensure your "fluff" matches your substance.

Take-away: Look good and BE good.

The Opposite of Micromanagement...Laid-back Management?

What's the opposite of micromanagement? Could it be laid-back management?

If so, is that bad? Is it bad to have a laid-back management style? Well, micromanagement is definitely not good if that's a predominant trait. I think we can all probably agree on that. The same can be said for laid-back management, can't it?

Here's a possible example: one of your people comes to you for guidance on an issue and you say, "well, just do whatever you think is best" or "I'm fine with whatever." Like, micromanagement, it's not good to have that style as a predominant one, either.

Our people want to be led. They're not looking for someone to tell them how to do everything and they're also not looking for a boss who just leaves them to their own devices. They're looking for good, solid leadership that provides the right amount of guidance. Now, that amount is different for every employee and that's why it's important for bosses to ensure that, while they treat everyone fairly, one management style "doesn't fit all". Bosses need to understand each of their direct reports and relate to them in a way that helps each person flourish. It's a tall order, but it can be done.

"Well, what do you think you should do?"

When Dana, one of your team members, comes to you asking your help in solving a problem, you have several options, don't you?

You can:

1. tell Dana that he's on his own and he'd better come up with a good solution. After all, that's what you pay him for.

2. go ahead and tell Dana what should be done.

3. help Dana figure it out --

I like to say "well, what do you think you should do?"

Dana responds, "huh?"

I come back with "I know what I would do, but I'd like to know what you think you should do. Your idea might provide the best solution."

Dana says, "I don't know what to do. That's why I came to you."

Back to me, "OK, but you probably know more about this than you think. You probably have an idea about the problem. Let me ask it this way, 'if this were your company, what would you do'?"

#3 is my preferred approach (because you're so smart, you probably already knew that). Not only does it get Dana and the others thinking about solutions, he might have a better answer than mine like I mentioned above. After all, I don't have the corner on smarts, you know? If Dana doesn't provide the greatest possible solution, that's OK. At least he thought about it and I definitely want to encourage that behavior. Then I can gently help provide a possible answer or brainstorm with Dana to ensure he's involved in the solution.

Try responding this way the next time the opportunity arises. You can help empower your folks, help them start thinking more on their feet, and perhaps come up with a really great solution to the problem.