Criticism...Embrace it.

I'm on to another post based on a quote that I read and found thought-provoking. Here is today's quote: “To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” ~Elbert Hubbard

None of us likes being criticized. We want people to like us or, at least, to respect us. We often identify our ideas and our work with our self-worth. Therefore, when they are being criticized, it can sometimes make us feel like we're being personally attacked.

What do so many of us do when we're being attacked? We either seek to deflect the attacks or we fight back. Mr. Hubbard's quote seems to be focusing more on the "avoidance" or deflection reaction to criticism.

Criticism, even if it isn't positive, can still be such a positive event for us because it can be a catalyst of change or at least a catalyst of evaluation and circumspection. How can we ever improve if we get no feedback -- positive or otherwise -- about how we're doing? Plus, as Nietzsche said, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger". Criticism, and the growth that can come from it, certainly can make us stronger.

I would much rather be known for looking at my criticisms mostly objectively (even if I do take some of them a little personally) and growing from them, than someone who is so afraid of what others might think that I am either paralyzed into total nothingness, being just a lump of a person, or that I become Yes Man, constantly working to agree with everyone. The result is the same: a lost identity. No, thanks.

What do you think about criticism, even when it is negative? Can it still be useful if it's not as nice as we'd like?

Getting Down in the Weeds

This is where a lot of managers like to be. If you think of the levels of management as a pyramid, with few jobs the higher up you move, you can see that there are a lot of managers out there who spend a fair amount of time in the bottom or tactical level of supervision.

There's absolutely no problem with that. Businesses need lots of managers at the store/office/center level. A problem can arise when some of the tactical managers get promoted and are required to think at a more strategic level:

• Tactical = how / actions
• Strategic = what, who, why / plans

We, humans, like to "go with what we know" and think tactically most of the time, it seems. It's just that the management pyramid example also works when you think of the division of tactical versus strategic thinking required at a particular management level. If lower level bosses aren't trained and pushed toward strategic thinking (because some people think that way naturally, but most have to be taught), then they tend to continue thinking in tactical terms.

I used to work on a volunteer board of directors, most of whose members had little overall experience or aptitude with strategic thinking. Since it was a volunteer group, no strategic training was in place, and the directors were just called upon to use their best judgement. While their intentions were good and pure, they were often at a loss to think strategically about the vision and direction of the organization. Instead, they got down in the weeds, preferring to spend their time discussing the details of a particular problem (how much a piece of equipment would cost or what it's specifications were, for example). They were going where they were comfortable instead of letting the volunteer managers at the next levels down do what they were supposed to do.

In order to help tactically thinking managers progress to higher-level thought processes, bosses need to expose them to strategic issues, give them good examples of strategic thought, and then encourage them to practice thinking and sharing in those terms. Practice really does make perfect in this instance.

If you're a mid- to high-level manager, where's your level of comfort? Are you primarily a tactical thinker or do you spend more time thinking strategically?

The Mood is on You

Have you ever heard the saying "if Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy"? Obviously, whoever came up with that saying was indicating that "Mama" affected the mood around the house. If she was upset, everybody was upset. If people weren't upset before they ran into Mama, they would be afterwards.

I do believe it's true, that in the workplace, if the boss isn't happy, nobody's happy. As a manager, do you realize the power that you wield? You set the tone for how the office will operate -- maybe for a particular day or maybe overall.

If you're a manager who wants to have a generally happy workplace for yourself and your people, then you've got to ensure that you project a positive and happy aura as much as possible. Now, it's not reasonable to think that any boss or manager is going to be in a good mood every day or that his or her life will always be hunky-dory. What I am saying is that you need to realize how your actions affect everyone around you in the office.

I guess it's fine to feel however you want to feel, but you owe it to your people -- the people who do the work, complete the mission, and make the operation "operate" -- to act like you're doing OK, to show you have a good handle on whatever situations are going on, and to help them feel they should be comfortable with you in charge. Let's face it, when workers are "down", their productivity suffers.

I challenge you to step back and take a look at yourself. Do you drag into the office in the morning? Do you grouse and complain about your boss or the leadership of the company? Do you whine about how business stinks? Do you just act depressed, in general?

If not, congratulations. Your work environment may be a pretty positive one. If so, STOP IT. Act positive and give your team another chance to be successful and fulfilled.

Great Leaders need to be Winners

Maybe I should restate and say that "Great Leaders need to act like Winners". So what is this all about? Well, one can argue that, to be a great leader, you have to have followers...people who want to follow you.

Let's think about this for a minute. I submit that people like to be involved with the best...the best deals, the best meals, the best gadgets, the best doctors, etc. Can you imagine saying "I go to the 2nd best surgeon around!" People don't want to think they have to settle for 2nd or 3rd choice and even if they realize it, they don't want to admit it and often will move to rectify the situation.

That takes me back to the theme of this post: people like to follow winners. Just like I discussed above, team members don't want to brag about being on the 2nd best team or having a 2nd or 3rd rate boss. Even if it's not a completely accurate belief or assumption, your folks want to follow a winner.

Is this a problem? What if you don't always win? Is that OK? Sure it is. You don't have to win every time to be a winner and definitely not to act like a winner.

This might beg the question, what does a winning leader look like or what traits does a winning leader display? Some traits might be:

• Quiet confidence: You act like you know what you're doing (see my post on this).
• A positive attitude: Need I say more?
• Treating team members like winners: People not only like to follow winners, they want to BE winners, too.
• Managing by influence: Instead of with a heavy hand.

If you act like a winner and treat your people like winners...you most probably are a winner and life's a whole lot better when you come at it from that angle.

What traits do you think a winning leader portrays?

Don't Underestimate Yourself

I know people like this: people who underestimate themselves. It's really too bad, you know, because it's often only their perception instead of everyone else's reality. Still, people like this are all around us, aren't they?

I have family members, friends, and past colleagues who all struggle with problems of self-confidence. I have, too. It can be fairly debilitating at times, keeping people from trying, allowing them to quit an activity or group, or affecting how they present themselves to others. What's most frustrating about it is that so many people are really good at what they do, but just can't believe it about themselves.

When I was a young teenager, I used to read Sherlock Holmes books. One of the comments Holmes made, that still stays with me, is that it is just as bad to underestimate ourselves as it is to overestimate ourselves. That's really true, isn't it?

Like I said, there were times in my life when I questioned my abilities when I compared myself to others. I had to tell myself, "those other people aren't any better than you. They make mistakes. They fail. They're not any more perfect than you are." Telling myself these things really worked for me. Sometimes I had to tell myself more times than once, but it did work. The trick is to ensure you are doing your best while making statements to yourself like I did.

Another trick you can try is to think about one or two things you do really well, maybe better than most other people, and remind yourself of those things when you're feeling insecure.

Bottom Line: If you can step back for even a moment and look at yourself objectively and you can see you are:

• Prepared
• Practiced
• Poised

then there's no reason whatsoever to be beating yourself up. You can always do better, but so can everyone else around you. As someone told me about a general one time, "he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like me."

What other tricks do you know of to help offset the "underestimation blues"?