Bloom where you're planted

A long, long time ago...in a far away place...I was given some very sage advice. I was a young Army officer who wasn't getting the breaks like I had hoped or expected. I could give you a list, but I won't bore you with the details. Suffice it to say that I never got my first choice of anything...and that was frustrating when I'd see some folks around me who got theirs.

OK...the advice. I was sharing my above frustration with a very kind soul who I really didn't know and have only a vague memory of today. He was some Major or Colonel and he was listening. What I do remember was that he quietly heard what I had to say and then said something like, "Let me give you some advice. Life's too short and most of us never get all the breaks we're looking for. Bloom where you're planted. That's what you can do. That's what you can control."

Bloom where you're planted.

You may have heard this saying before. I hadn't ever heard it before this gentleman shared it with me. I guess, to me, it means we can't control everything. We can't always get everything we want. We can't always end up with the job or position that we would like or think we deserve. Decisions like these typically belong to someone else.

What we can do is be our VERY BEST with whatever job we have, in whatever place we are, working with whatever people are on our team. For some of us, it means quitting our whining and bellyaching and just doing what needs to be done.

This is what we can control and this is where we can excel.

Life Balance

When I was a young Army officer, I was away from home a lot. When I wasn't in the field, it wasn't uncommon for me to put in 12-14 hours a day at "the office". One day, my wife and I were talking about tasks and priorities. She made the comment, "it's OK, I know we're #2 for you." It was like a dagger in my heart. Now, my wife didn't make that comment in a negative manner at all. She was saying that she knew the service was making its demands and I had to follow them. My wife was accepting that, mostly graciously. I, however, heard those words and knew my life balance was off.

I'd like to say I changed things then and there, but that's not true. My work/life balance has stayed skewed for most of my adult life.

As a boss and supervisor most of my career, I've focused on the mission and my people. I've told myself that was the right thing to do. There have been times when work was practically my whole existence and I put in the hours to prove it. What's wrong with that?

Let's not kid ourselves that all the extra time we put in at work is just about others. I told myself that my military career was a career built on that very thing...but it was just as much or more about me.

I could pontificate on this subject for another hour, but let me leave you with this. It is hard to balance all the priorities we have in our lives. We're almost never going to have a perfect balance. If we have to err on one side, let it be on the side focused on others: our families, our loved ones, and those around us who need help in one way or another.

I'm very much a "it's not a job, it's a way of life" type of guy, but the way of life...well, it really needs to be about service to others.

Service to others...it's not a phrase, it's a way of life.