Are You Vulnerable?

Are you vulnerable? Vulnerability is a bad idea in business. When you're vulnerable, the concern is that people can take advantage of you. You don't want to look weak.

My mother is a very open and giving person. Sometimes it appears that people take advantage of her. One time, when a friend seemed to be inappropriately using my mother, I asked her, "why do you let her do that? Don't you know she's taking advantage of you?" My mother's response was "people can't take advantage of you if you let them." I thought that was very profound. In other words, people can take advantage of the unwilling or unknowing. However, if we choose to let people do what they do, no one can say they're taking advantage of us...we're letting it happen.

Back to vulnerability. Relationships are about taking chances. Depending on how deep the relationship determines how open we are. The level of openness has a direct corollary: vulnerability.

If you believe you need to have good, solid relationships with your team members, you will have to open yourself up somewhat. When you do that, you make yourself vulnerable to those team members. You make yourself human. You show yourself to be imperfect and that you have flaws (although, they've probably already picked up on some of your flaws from working with you).

Relationships are risky. There's no doubt about it. However, in order to be the servant leader you want to be, in order to develop a sense of trust with your people, and in order to build a group of committed team members, you have to be vulnerable.

What are other risks to being vulnerable? Can you be too open with your people?

A Man of Success

Albert Einstein once said, "Try not to become a man of success but a man of value."

When you are a professional, whether it be in business, in the government, or part of another organization, you are often pushed to be successful at just about any cost. You've seen it. You've seen people so focused on success that it's all they can do, all they can think about.

How do you measure success? Many of us measure from a perspective of:

• Fame
• Fortune
• Power
• Influence

So many times, these measurements are focused almost solely on ourselves. They can be very selfish and self-serving. I think Einstein is saying that the focus of our lives can't be primarily or even mostly about ourselves. It's just that a life focused totally inward seems kind of an empty existence.

I've mentioned it before: most all the motivational speakers out on the circuit today (people like Zig Ziglar) will say you can't be a true success until you've helped people around you be successful. For the majority of people, possessions don't really make them happy, not long-term, anyway. It's the people around us, people we care about, who do that. It's about relationships and being valuable to others.

"Try not to become a man of success but a man of value." In the end, that's where true success lies.

Building Work Relationships

As managers and bosses, you have lots of responsibilities, right? You have to worry about P&L, customer service, staffing issues, etc.

I have another responsibility to add to your list: relationships. You are responsible for relationships. In this post, I'm not writing about relationships outside the organization, like with customers or vendors. I'm talking about relationships inside your organization. So, what relationships are you responsible for? I'll mention 3 primary ones for today:

Team Members: You have people working for you, people you need to guide, direct, encourage, teach, etc. It's very hard to do a good job at any of these facets of management without having a positive relationship with your people. Oh, you can be a boss without having much of a relationship with your team, but you want folks who are committed to the group and the mission, not just compliant. A positive relationship is required to have committed people...and it's your responsibility to develop it. I know that relationships are two-way, but you are the boss so the responsibility is yours. See my post on coaching and 1:1 meetings for ways to build team member relationships.

Peers/colleagues: All bosses should be busy (let's assume you all are) and don't have a lot of free time at work. Add to it that, more and more often, people work in less proximity to each other (especially managers). It's very easy to have very little to do with your peers. Maybe you get on conference calls with them periodically or you see them at regional or company meetings, but often there are very few times peers get together. So, how do you develop relationships with other managers, most of whom are not physically near you? Pick up the phone. Make an effort to talk with your colleagues, see how they're doing, ask their input on something you're doing, etc. Teamwork doesn't just have to happen in one branch, team or project group. Teamwork can happen when peers and colleagues have relationships established and then can call on each other when the occasion arises.

Bosses: I know I just mentioned, above, that supervisors are responsible for relationships with their people. I do believe they have the primary responsibility. Still, you're a professional, aren't you? You don't have to wait for your boss to establish communication in order for you to reach out. Find out how you can help him or her be successful. Volunteer to help with a project or item that your boss is working on. Be ready to give your input on an issue (even solicit the opportunity)...check in with your boss to see if he or she is doing OK. There's a good chance that your boss is also challenged in relationships with peers and colleagues and could use a friendly, trustworthy ear. You may have the opportunity to be that resource.

Positive relationships can definitely impact an organization, maybe even being a key factor in its success. As a manager and boss, it's your responsibility to help build and encourage those relationships. What other ways can you think of to build relationships inside an organization?

Servant Leadership...in Reverse

There are those who consider themselves servant leaders. These are leaders who work to help ensure their people flourish and succeed; not the other way around. I definitely subscribe to this type of leadership. If we empower our folks to exceed expectations in the pursuit of the mission, then it will help ensure we succeed, as well.

There is a temptation for some servant leaders to try to be all things to all people, to be larger than life, and to show they can handle anything. This temptation is a dangerous one because no one can do everything. Working with this mindset can overload even the best managers and leaders, potentially causing failure for the individual and the entire team. Teamwork can suffer when service only flows one way.

To be a true servant leader, sometimes you have to let others help you. Sometimes you have to let your aura of power and strength drop and show you are human. When you are in need, whatever that need may be, it's your duty to give others the opportunity to help you. Two-way support, just like two-way communication, is a sign of a healthy relationship between two or more people.

If you're a strong servant leader, then you've modeled what selfless service looks like. Now, give your people the opportunity to practice what they've learned from you, not only on their customers, but on their fellow team members, too...including you.

The Gift of Leadership...Volunteer

Many people are leaders. One could argue that leaders are found in every group of people even when the groups are comprised of only two people. One or both of the people in the two-person group may lead the other in one aspect or another.

While leaders abound throughout our world, all leaders are not good and competent. Many of them are very poor and have no business leading others...ever. However, some people have been blessed with the gift of leadership. By that, I mean that they are good, solid, maybe outstanding leaders, who help people and organizations grow and flourish.

For those of you who are blessed with this gift of leadership, especially "blessed" leaders in the business world, your talents are in great demand. There are never enough competent leaders to go around.

I'm not talking about moving from one job to another one. By "great demand, I don't mean always moving up in organizations to broaden your scope of leadership, either. I'm writing about broadening your scope of leadership by using some of your talents outside your vocation.

Volunteer groups are plentiful and most are constantly in need of resources, primarily people, to help their causes. Churches, libraries, homeless shelters, hospitals -- the list goes on and on -- need the talent that you, gifted leaders have to offer. These organizations exist to help improve our planet and the creatures that inhabit it. I heard a sermon at my church today about our using our ability to influence people and things to help make the world a better place, to serve others.

As gifted, blessed leaders, you don't have to keep all your talent tied up at work. I challenge you to use your gifts for the common good. What opportunities and organizations do you know of that could use the gifts of talented leaders?