Going the 3rd Mile

You've all probably heard the saying "going the 2nd mile" in reference to efforts that people make to exceed the norm.

I would challenge all those who think going the 2nd mile is enough when it comes to service and providing a true "out of this world" experience.

When I was a teenager, I went to an event where the late Grady Nutt spoke. Grady Nutt was a Christian comedian and he was a pretty funny guy. One idea he shared has stayed with me for more than 30 years.

Grady talked about true service and he referenced the 2nd mile which comes from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount in the Bible.

You don't have to be a Christian or even a religious person to appreciate what Grady had to say. I'll do my best to help you get the picture since the details of the story are long gone for me.

During the era of the Roman Empire, Roman soldiers were allowed to carry out impressment on the citizens of the occupied or "protected" countries where the soldiers were stationed (If you know your American history, you might also recognize the term because British Navy ships were stopping American merchant ships and impressing American sailors to serve on their vessels...one of the tensions that helped lead to the War of 1812). Anyway, the Roman soldiers could "task" any of the non-Roman citizens to carry their very heavy packs for a Roman mile. When the mile was completed, if the soldier had any distance to travel, he'd have to "impress" another man into carrying his gear.

Picture a local citizen being made to carry the pack of a Roman soldier for that first mile, doing his duty. As they get to that first mile mark, the soldier is waiting for that bag to slide off the citizen's shoulder and land on the ground. Hopefully, it didn't have anything breakable in it because it might have had trouble surviving the fall.

Imagine the soldier's surprise when the citizen keeps carrying the pack past mile marker #1, doing more than his duty. Some questioning is seeping into that soldier's mind. Some grudging respect for a man of principles is starting to form.

Picture the soldier's grudging respect turning into admiration as mile marker #2 is passed and the pack is still on the citizen's back. The soldier understands that, in some way, this citizen sees value in the soldier and in doing his absolute best for another human being.

By the time the two part company, the soldier's day has been made. He's not just another occupier and the citizen is not just another face in the crowd. A relationship has been formed.

In a nutshell,

Mile 1: You've done your duty

Mile 2: You've earned the other person's respect

Mile 3: You've made someone's day and probably also made a friend.

Folks, we have an opportunity to make peoples' days all the time...to WOW and exceed expectations. This can apply to customer service or it can be about how each of us live our lives.

If we truly believe in giving the people around us the best that we have, then we need to think about going that 3rd mile. Figure out what the 3rd mile is for those you come into contact with, whether it's in your personal or professional life...and then work on it, every day.

Everyday Coaching, Part IV: Tips for Effective Coaching

Part of my 5-part series on coaching: Intro, Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV

This is the last of a four-part series on Coaching. In the last three sessions, posted over the last three days, I've covered:

Part I. Coaching -- Definition, Purpose and Application
Part II. Situational Coaching
Part III. Ongoing Coaching

Today, in Part IV, we'll cover coaching tips that haven't already been touched on previously:

1. Triangulate: When you're coaching for behavior modification with one of your team, think about there being three entities in the conversation: you, the team member and the activity or action being discussed. Then, it's not personal. And when discussing that third "entity", think about behaviors and not characteristics -- "separating the act from the actor" -- (e.g. "There appears to be an issue with tardiness here" instead of "You keep coming in late to work").

2. Let them know what's acceptable and what's not: Be very specific when you explain what activity is not working out and what you want to see instead. Help your person clearly picture "bad" and "good"; for example: outbursts at the customers = bad and a smile and bright attitude = good.

3. Do you have a role to play in the problem? Did your team member have a clear understanding of what was expected? Did you expect him or her to read your mind? What could you have done to ensure this problem never happened and surely doesn't happen in the future?

4. Feedback is a gift and if you're not providing it constructively, you're withholding the gift.

5. There's more than one way to skin a cat: Just because it's not necessarily the way you would have completed the task or duty, doesn't mean that it wasn't an acceptable way. If your people get the job done right, then that should be ok.

6. Success breeds success so don't dump all the changes you want made on the person all at once. Start off small or manageable and give your team member the chance to succeed. He or she should like it and feed off it for greater success in the future.

OK, so that's about it for me and my thoughts on coaching. Thanks again to Drs. Frankel and Otazo for their great insights.

REMEMBER: Coaching and Constructive Feedback can be impressive tools in a leader's arsenal and should be used regulary and consistently to help your entire team improve and flourish.


Good luck and Good Coaching.

Everyday Coaching, Part III: Ongoing Coaching

Part of my 5-part series on coaching: Intro, Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV

Today in Part III of this series on Coaching, we're going to cover ongoing coaching...meaning that leaders will be coaching regularly. If you read Part II of Everyday Coaching, you may remember when I said that coaching is a process.

Situational coaching opportunities come up regularly in any organization. Leaders have the opportunity to coach through an issue or let it go. As I mentioned in Part I, coaching, either situational or ongoing, is much less of an issue and much easier to do when coaching is, well...ongoing.

So let's cover what an ongoing coaching session might look like or include:

WHAT:

1. TALK ABOUT THEM...THE COACHING SESSION IS ABOUT THEM. The BIGGEST key for successful coaching is for the leader to have a relationship with each of his or her team members. Relationship? What do you mean by "relationship"? A personal relationship is very appropriate between any supervisor and team member. I'm not talking about being friends, but it is still a personal relationship. Reference my blog from May 28, "But I want my employees to like me" for more details, but, to be a strong leader you need to know your troops. You should know what's important to them:

~Family -- Do you know the name of your team member's spouse or do you know about the kids? Do you know about others important to your people? Do you know any details?

~What about dreams and aspirations? Do you know where your folks want to be moving forward or what they hope to get from their work or life?

As you get to know people better, and they know they can TRUST YOU (since you are obviously a trustworthy person -- don't worry, your actions will show your folks soon enough whether they can trust you or not), they are more likely to open up more and more. Then you might even find out things about their fears and apprehensions and might be in a position to help. If not, at the very least you can better understand how your people tick.

2. Other areas that could be included in a regular coaching session:
~Review task list
~Set priorities
~Discuss issues/problems that your team member might be having and/or you want to cover in more depth than you might in a situational coaching session.
~Development (as a leader, it is your responsibility to help develop all your folks)


WHEN/HOW OFTEN:

Like I mentioned earlier, coaching should be ongoing so it should be a regular event.
1. Put it on the calendar. I strongly recommend setting aside formal time for each of your team on your calendar so you can ensure the time is protected. There's nothing worse than missing coaching sessions on a regular basis because they get preempted or worse -- forgotten.

2. Schedule at times that can be protected. I know, I know, bosses are busy...often the most busy person in an office or organization. So what can be done to help ensure coaching happens? One suggestion that I really like is to have coaching during lunch. "Lunch? I don't even regularly get lunch." Ok, ok, hear me out. Let's say you have 4 direct reports. What if you took one day per week and had lunch with a different one of your people? You don't even have to go out to eat or spend any of your expense account (both of you can pack a lunch and "bag it"). If something came up during lunch time on a particular day, you could just switch your person to another day in the week. And, if for some reason you weren't available all week or a particular team member were out, you could double up on another week and it wouldn't be too overwhelming.

3. Meet monthly, at a minimum. Depending on how many direct reports you have, how busy you are, or how closely you work with a particular team member, you may want to schedule your coaching sessions as often as weekly. I personally like bi-weekly. The great thing about having scheduled coaching sessions more often than monthly is that things come up and if you have to cancel a monthly session (not postpone), it's a long time until the next one. Having meetings scheduled more frequently allows a lot more flexibility. You don't want to meet just to meet so if you're both all good with everything when a weekly coaching session is coming up, you can cancel that meeting without worrying -- you'll catch up during the next week.

WHERE:

1. In private. Coaching is typically a one-on-one type of deal and is no other team member's business.
2. Does is matter where? You could consider meeting at the office or even in your own office ("Is that a problem?" "Other people might see us talking") Nothing's wrong with meeting at the office since, as a very fair and involved leader, you coach each of your teams regularly...you're not picking on anybody. It may be more convenient, for sure. Meeting off-site presents its own challenges, like with distance, time, or potential cost (if you get food). Whether you meet in or out of the office, the point is to treat everyone the same and there shouldn't be any issue.
3. In any case, any place comfortable where you and your team member can be relaxed will be fine, although someplace where note-taking is easily achieved would be the best. I do recommend staying away from talking at a desk, especially your desk, since it could be considered less open and more like the conversation is a one-way "you're going to let them know how it is" conversation.

The more you coach, the easier it gets and the more comfortable you and your team can be with the improvement and support coaching can provide.

Tomorrow, Part IV, on Tips for Effective Coaching.

Everyday Coaching, Part II: Situational Coaching

Part of my 5-part series on coaching: Intro, Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV

Today, in Part II of our Coaching series, we’re going to cover coaching one of your team members who needs to modify their behavior or actions regarding a particular activity. The two essentials for behavior modification are:

1. Feedback
2. Goal setting

Let’s say that all the staff in your office know that world-class customer service is key for repeat business. You’ve taught all your folks that, worked through different scenarios and you are confident they all know how to make customers feel your office is the place they need to be. You’re feeling pretty good about it all.

Then, one day, you walk out of your office and see one of your team providing less than world-class service to Sue, one of your customers. Specifically, Bob was not friendly when she came in and barely acknowledged Sue’s presence.

OK, OK, you’re starting to get a little steamed…no, very steamed because you’ve worked so hard to make every customer feel welcome and a part of your family. But, either:

1. You’re a non-confrontational person who doesn’t like to make people mad (including your staff) so you're going to suppress your anger, fix the problem with your customer, and hope the problem goes away.

OR

2. You want to flame Bob, because the customer’s always right and you won’t stand for this.

Neither of these choices is great. Doing nothing is not an option and if you kill one of your team, you get the chair.

First things first…you get the facts from Sue (at least her perception). Great, you know how she’s feeling and you’ve made it all better with her and now you need to ensure Bob gets the feedback he sorely deserves.

The thing is, Bob’s a great guy. He works hard and tries his best, but he’s somewhat moody. If he’s not paying attention, he can give customers the wrong impression. So what do you do?

1. Talk to Bob, and soon, so you can identify the issue (the sooner the better after an “incident” because Bob will likely remember the events better).
2. Let him know your perception of the incident and issue (“Bob, I observed what appearded to be a kind of “Eeyore” mood earlier today”); then get Bob’s perception (he has one…maybe he didn't know there was a problem or maybe has a reason, like his kid is sick or there are money issues or there's something else that is affecting Bob’s mood). The best way to get the facts is to see all sides.
3. Provide your coaching suggestions based on the training that you and the staff have all done (“Bob, we all need to have situational awareness…how we’re feeling and how we need to treat our customers, regardless of how our day is going.”). Provide encouragement that you know Bob can overcome the issue.

Are you all done? Well, you could just pray and hope for the best. However, coaching is a process and you can’t usually fix an issue with just one interaction. So...

Next steps:
1. You need to observe Bob (and you’ve let him know this during your initial session…that you’ll be observing)
2. Give him feedback – immediately – when he exhibits the performance you coached him on or when he misses the mark (“Bob, that customer was putty in your hands…Way to go!” OR “Bob, there still seems to be an issue with being moody. Tell me about what just happened”).
3. Get back together and discuss. Provide your perception about how Bob’s doing and let him share how he thinks things are going, too.
4. Repeat steps 1-3, above, as necessary, until you're satisfied everything's under control.

Tomorrow, Part III: Ongoing Coaching.

Everyday Coaching, Part I: Definition, Purpose, and Application

Part of my 5-part series on coaching: Intro, Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV

As we discuss coaching, we need to frame up the topic because it can be pretty broad. There are lots of different types of coaching -- sports coaching, personal coaching, life coaching, performance coaching, etc. In the case of this series on coaching, we're talking about leaders coaching their people at work.

So in that regard, what is coaching? Coaching is a training method used to help an individual or individuals reach a goal. First, the goal has to be set and then the individual(s) being coached need to understand what the goal is.

What results do you want from coaching your work team? We can talk about improved work performance and stuff like that, but what it really boils down to is getting your people to reach the goals you set (hopefully, that you and your team set together) and to reach them consistently. That means that your team does the right things whether you're present or not and they perform them in a positive manner.

Well, is coaching always the answer to get your people to perform the way you want? Drs. Frankel and Otazo pose a wonderful question in this regard:

"Could this employee do the job if his or her life depended on it?"

If the answer is "no", then you need to train your employee.

If the answer is "yes", then someone has an attitude problem and coaching might be a great way to help fix that problem.

So how do you know which it is? Well, duh, you talk to your people. You can find out what's going on with your people and it doesn't have to be awkward. More on that in Part III.

Look for Part II, Situational Coaching, coming up soon.

Everyday Coaching -- Intro

Part of my 5-part series on coaching: Intro, Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV

Today, I'm launching a 4-part series on coaching. I love to coach. It's my favorite part of my work. I like nothing better than teaching others and sharing insights and then watching people succeed and flourish.

Unfortunately, I understand that many leaders don't actively coach. I know, I know. It's hard to believe, but it appears to be the case. Many leaders say they simply don't have time and time is an issue. However, I can't help but believe that a lot of leaders don't coach because they really don't know how. Let's see if we can help make coaches feel a little more comfortable.

The posts will cover the following outline:

Part I. Coaching -- Definition, Purpose and Application
Part II. Situational Coaching
Part III. Ongoing Coaching
Part IV. Tips for Effective Coaching

This will be a really good series, but I'm not smart enough to have thought of all the stuff I will cover all on my own. I do have a lot of coaching experience and I've read a lot of coaching material. The best down and dirty overview of coaching I've ever read comes from an article written by Lois Frankel, Ph.D. and Karen Otazo, Ph.D, "Employee Coaching: The Way to Gain Commitment, Not Just Compliance" that was published in "Employee Relations Today, Summer 1992 edition". Those are some smart folks and I will draw heavily from their article, but paraphrase in my own words. I just want to ensure these fine doctors get the credit they deserve.

OK, on to Part I.

I've changed the name of the blog!!! What?

Whoa, what are you doing, boy? You're calling common, everyday leaders "dogfaces"? What's up with that?

Well, if you read my last rant, I mean, er...post, you can tell my frustration level for leadership and management blogs that seem to be written for those managers who live in ivory towers or something.

Ok, we get that, but then why the "dogface" reference?

Two reasons: One is that I used to be in the 3rd Infantry Division and while it's known as the "Rock of the Marne" from the bravery its soldiers showed during that battle in WWI, the Division's song is, you guessed it, "The Dogfaced Soldier".

The other is that Dogfaces are just normal, everyday people who "do most of the working and paying and living and dying" to steal a quote from the movie, "It's a Wonderful Life". They're the "everyman" that makes the world operate.

So, this blog is dedicated to you -- the Dogfaced Leader.