Attitude Problems

Tascha is a manager in a small town near St. Louis. You may remember Tascha if you read my last post. Tascha is in the process of figuring out why some of her strong performers left and that's been a tough lesson to learn.

To add to it, Tascha is observing rumblings on her team. One of the team members, let's call him Doug, just has a bad attitude. He's negative, argumentative, surly, and brings the rest of the team down. Now, I haven't told you this before, but while Tascha is not extremely new in this position and has contributed to some of the team's successes and troubles, she didn't put the team together originally. Tascha does have the responsibility, however, of building the team into an efficient and effective unit where the members are actively committed to their success and that of the organization.

If you were advising Tascha, you might tell her that if Doug is just being a jerk then he needs to be offered the opportunity to look for another job. The thing is that Doug is very experienced and very talented. He knows how to perform some tasks in the office that no one else can do. Some might even call him an expert in his field. Making him "available to industry", so to speak, might help solve one problem and cause several others. Because of that, previous managers had buried their heads in the sand, prayed, and hoped for the best instead of dealing with Doug. It was just easier.

Tascha is trying to decide what to do...just deal with Doug and try to make the best of things like her predecessors OR tell Doug to hit the road. Either way, her decision will create pain.

What Tascha needs to realize (and perhaps does, but is ignoring the fact) is that you can train skills, but you can't train attitude. The best she can hope to do is help align Doug's attitude with how she expects the team members to act. If he's unwilling to make any attitude modifications and Tascha doesn't do anything about it, she could lose even more of her team members than she already has because they may just get so frustrated with Doug that they leave. If they stay, the team will most likely continue to have issues moving toward being dysfunctional. Tascha can't build her team the way it is now.

My advice: "Hey Tascha, you need to have a 'come to Jesus' meeting with Doug and let him know that things have to change and soon. Let him know your expectations moving forward regarding his attitude. Be willing to let him go and be willing to accept some of the pain that is sure to follow as you and your other team members work to pick up the slack. There's no better time to start than NOW. Get going."

Next time: what Tascha can do to ensure another Doug doesn't develop in her team.

Approachable

Tascha is a manager in small town near St. Louis. Tascha works hard to be a good manager and leader. There are problems, though. She is realizing that, based on some strong employees who have left, things are not right. Tascha would tell you that she never saw the departures coming.

She remembers what she was taught about employees leaving bosses before they leave organizations. Therefore, Tascha wisely looks inward to try and understand why people might want to leave. There are different reasons why her team members might have been thinking of their exits. Tascha wonders, "why didn't my people talk to me? I had their best interests at heart. I've always tried to be approachable."

Let's focus on the "approachable" idea for the rest of this post because it could really have had an impact, not only on Tascha's understanding of what happened, but also on a key way that the problems might have been avoided.

Was Tascha really approachable? She thinks she was and she felt she let her people know that. The questions that come to mind are 1) did Tascha actually let her team members know that she was interested in talking with them? 2) If she did so, did Tascha's actions match her words; in other words, did she make a habit of talking with her people and were her mannerisms (facial expressions, etc.) aligned with the approachability she was trying to convey?

If Tascha wasn't overly approachable, then that would definitely be something she could work on. Let's say, however, that Tascha's people found her very approachable. That's great, but the problems haven't been resolved. What else could it be?

Once Tascha's people approached her, was Tascha really engaged in their communication? 1) Did she actively listen to what her people said? 2) Did Tascha take what they had to say seriously or did she dismiss their comments? Even though some things her people would have told her might have been frivolous or even inappropriate, did Tascha let the staff know they were important by expressing her appreciation for them coming to her?

Strong communication is so often the key issue when problems surface and, just as often, a great way to fix or even ameliorate problems before they get out of hand.

Look at yourself. Do you see any Tascha in there?

Perception and Reality

I had the pleasure of discussing the saying "perception is reality" with a friend of mine today. My friend and I didn't completely agree.

It can be considered trite and naive to believe that reality is up for grabs. As far as people, people management, people science, and all that are concerned, there are typically some, at least, socially acceptable truths. Someone's reality might be based on bigotry and this person might foster the belief that all short people are somehow inadequate, for example. There is no basis in conventional wisdom for that belief so one might say that this person's perception is not, in actuality, reality even though the person believes it. Norms of reality exist, huh?

So, we're comfortable with the idea that reality does exist. Great. The rub comes, however, when we get too wrapped up in what we call reality as opposed to what others call reality. We all have filters through which we look at life (see my post here on Reality Filters). These filters are often composed of our experiences both as children and as adults, as well as what we've been taught by people who have been influential in our lives. These filters are really powerful and can help us shape our personal reality. They can even help us slant the "conventional wisdom" realities to where they fit better into our beliefs. The bigot I mentioned above most certainly used filters to shape his "short hate".

OK...confusing...so, reality exists, but we have trouble pinning it down. Or, perhaps we have NO trouble pinning it down ourselves, but everyone around us just does a lot of head scratching, wondering what the heck we're thinking.

Perhaps the best thing we can hope to do is have faith. For me, that means faith in God. It also means that, except when I'm being really cynical, I have faith that people are basically decent, as a group. Other than that, we should look really hard at what our reality is and try to help it align (I didn't say agree) with those who are important in our lives.

The other thing we can to do is try to have empathetic spirits. We can to try to understand the reality of those around us. We don't have to agree with those realities, but we can to try to understand them so we can use what we've learned to better interact with others. We can be willing to accept (gulp...) that our ideas might be wrong or, at least, not necessarily the best ideas around. Since many of us have pretty strong beliefs, we should to try to temporarily "suspend" our assumptions (see my post on that here) and beliefs on a subject to help us better listen to other ideas and perceptions. Maybe the group will agree that I am right, that someone else is right, or that we both are (we can have multiple ideas, can't we?).

What about you? How do you handle the idea of reality and your views on it?

Consider Almost Everything

Different people have different outlooks on life. Some are pretty open-minded and some are fairly closed-minded. Regardless of our outlook, almost everyone has areas where their minds are already set, already decided.

For whatever reason, whether it's based on upbringing, painful experiences from the past, having a "particular" attitude about certain things (like different people or cultures), or just being difficult because we like it, we can often shut out some possibly great ideas or experiences.

The thing is, just because we look at or consider an idea doesn't mean we have to agree with it or do anything about it. There are plenty of bone-headed ideas out in the world (I might mention a few, but then maybe that would just be me acting closed-minded). Aristotle wrote:

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

Think about the great achievements and advancements in medicine, science, and business that might have never happened if leaders had not been willing to tolerate another person's ideas. Humans might not have advanced near as far with automobiles or airplanes. We might never have traveled into space or mapped the ocean floor without leaders thoughtfully considering ideas.

Now, grounding the topic a little bit and considering our daily lives, it's our responsibility as managers and leaders to try and consider pretty much everything that we run across. We should look at suggestions and ideas from all angles to see if they have merit in our particular situations. That's how we can help others grow as well as move our organizations and ourselves forward.

Just consider it, OK?

Daily Motivation

"People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily." ~Zig Ziglar

What I'm seeing Zig say is that we need to take time every day for self-motivation and to motivate our folks. On one hand, that seems kind of overkill. The last thing I would want to experience is a new motivational video every day from YouTube. Just thinking of it makes my brain hurt.

On the other hand, it's easy for us and for our team members to get weighed down -- weighed down by the stresses in our personal lives that come from things like family, money, health, and safety. Add to it the stresses from work and before we know it we could feel like we've got the weight of the world on our shoulders. It can happen quickly and easily.

In that respect, I definitely can see where Zig is coming from. It's part of our job as leaders to help lift and maintain our people's spirits (and, therefore, our own since our people often mimic our moods). It's part of our duties to help them feel like work is a place they want to be which should help them be more productive and pleasant to work with.

I like the idea of morning huddles (see my "huddle" post here) with my folks. What about you? What do you do to daily motivate your people and yourself?

Pride in the team

As bosses, we often spend a significant amount of time putting out fires and dealing with problematic issues. We have more to do than there are hours in the day. It can, at times, seem overwhelming. It can, at times, cause us to take a "head down" approach to our work lives, focusing on the bad stuff.

Hopefully, if we're fortunate enough and we're doing good stuff as a leader, we lead a great team. Maybe the team is great in spite of us, but more than likely the team is strong, at least in part, because of our efforts.

We need to take a moment, every now and then, to celebrate our blessings. We need to come up out of our funk, take a breath, and take pride in the team of which we're a part.

When we look at our folks, imperfect as they are (just like us), we can hopefully revel in their great efforts: in helping keep the operation moving forward, in providing outstanding service, in making your office a wonderful place to be.

Now, go de-funkify and take some pride in the team.

Humility...a sign of weakness?

Most of the leaders I've observed and worked with over the years have been concerned with appearing strong and in command of their teams, their position, and their lives.

Some of them were naturally arrogant and some developed an arrogant posture to seem tough and strong. Some even took to bullying others. Sometimes the bravado appeared to be a thinly veiled attempt to cover up a fear of inadequacy.

There were a few leaders who were different from the rest. They were calm and self-assured instead of seeming full of themselves. They were even deferential with others, knowing that they weren't special, but just another member of the organization who was trying to do their best. They respected those around them, both above and below, for the contributions they made, knowing that all team members are capable of sharing.

Instead of an air of cockiness, these people adopted one of humility. They knew they weren't perfect, but they also knew they were competent. When they made a mistake, they didn't try to deflect the responsibility on someone else. When they messed up, they stood up and were accountable; then they worked to correct the problems and make modifications to ensure the problems didn't reoccur.

Leaders should always want to deal with issues from a position of strength. So, what does that position of strength look like? Is it all about strutting around and looking superior or can it be quiet confidence rooted in maturity, experience, and self-awareness?

So I ask, is humility a sign of weakness...or is it a sign of strength?