Intimidation

Your stare will melt ice.

When you walk into a room, a cold wind begins to blow, dogs begin to wail, and mothers grab their babies and scuttle off to safety.

When you show your displeasure, strong men drop to their knees and begin to weep, "for the love of all that's good in the world, please spare me!"

And you like it.

What is it that causes some bosses to appear pleased when their people are afraid of them...at least a little? One manager told me, "when you walk into a room, your people should take notice and be at least a little nervous."

Why?

Is that how managers build a cohesive and loyal team (cohesive against you and loyal with each other against "the bad boss)? Is that how leaders promote efficiency and effectiveness?

This certainly was the case in the not too distant past and it probably still exists some places.

The boss I mention above is not a builder, but one who tears down. Instead, we need to be approachable. Our people need to know that we care about them and the contribution they make to all our success. Sure, we set standards and stretch goals. Of course, we let our people know what we expect. It just needs to be in a positive and respectful setting.

Is there ever a time when you think it's OK for a boss to rule by intimidation?

Stepping into your shoes

Succession planning is a hot topic these days. We, as managers, are supposed to develop and groom suitable team members to replace us when we get promoted or move on to other opportunities. It does make sense considering the potential loss of productivity that can occur when your replacement has a long learning curve.

This is not something we typically do very well. A few possible reasons spring to my mind:

1. The ever excuse of no time, which might be true, but could just as easily translate to not knowing what to do.
2. General issues with delegation that are present already.
3. Fear that one of your people might be better than you (shoot, I think it's great to have people smarter than you on your team. When I was lucky enough or smart enough to have that happen, it really helped me stretch and grow).

A great way to start with succession planning is to determine who you think most likely to be your replacement, even if that never comes to pass because this person moves on or your bosses choose to replace you from outside your team. Your candidate could be one or more of your team members.

After you know who you'd like to have to fill your shoes, then you can actively work to delegate some of your traditional tasks as well as allowing the team member to weigh in on decisions, strategies, or programs. When you're away, like on vacation, you can put this person in charge and give them a sense of what being in your position might be like. You could even have the team member head up an initiative with higher-level exposure to give them some face time with the honchos and learn while you're still around as a safety net.

The key for the least impact to your departure is to start thinking now about who could replace you and what you would want them to know in order to do your job. Then execute on the plan.

What other suggestions do you have for successful succession planning?

Disagreements

I know people who spend their lives trying to avoid conflicts or disagreements. They consider disagreements as bad and that, while resolution to conflicts is good, avoiding any disagreements in the first place is always best.

What's wrong with disagreement? Is disagreement always bad? I guess it is if we have to always be right...then it definitely is a problem. I'm happy when others agree with me, but having others always agree with us isn't necessarily productive.

If everyone always agreed with those around them, how would we ever improve as human beings, as nations and cultures, let alone coworkers, friends and family? I don't think disagreement and conflict are bad at all.

Disagreements and conflicts are bad if we never resolve them. It's in the very act of resolution, if what we're doing is trying to learn and progress, instead of just mollifying or acquiescing, that positive outcomes can develop.

If we realize that we, personally, are not infallible, and the groups we are a part of are not perfect, then we know we have areas where we can improve.

When I think of a project team working to build a better widget, how far can it progress if all the team members are just going along with the leader instead of thinking, analyzing, and challenging the plans? The project might progress somewhat, but it will never reach it's optimal result unless the team members embrace disagreement as they challenge their ideas and the ideas of their colleagues.

What do you think? What other ways do disagreements and conflict fit into the picture as we look for innovation and growth?

Employees Leave Their Bosses

I was just re-reading Monday Morning Leadership in preparation for a meeting. One of the comments in there was about why employees leave a company. That caused me to do a little Google search where I found this post called "The Real Reason Why Employees Leave" on the IAAP (International Association of Administrative Professionals) web site.

The article references a study by the Saratoga Institute that says:

"89% of managers believe employees leave for more money. But, in fact, the survey found that 88% of employees leave for reasons other than money."

You know the #1 reason people leave a company? It's because of us, their bosses. People don't leave companies, they leave US.

Sure, there are a percentage of "job hoppers" out there who are never satisfied or who are looking for 25 cents more per hour. Most employees, though, want to be where they are valued and appreciated. They also want to respect who they work for. Come on, who wants to work for a boss who they have no respect for?

That's our job as bosses: to value our people and ensure they feel valued; to set clear standards and expectations that all can follow, including us.

What are some of the ways we can help our folks feel valued and appreciated?

1. Communication: We regularly converse with our people. We don't just talk TO them, but we converse WITH them, keeping them informed soliciting feedback.
2. Respect: If we want our team members to show us respect, we have to do the same for them. The rules that apply to them should apply to us, as well.
3. Interest: We need to be interested in our folks and understand what's important to them. We need to learn their priorities and their goals. We need to understand what makes them tick.
4. Management: One management technique DOES NOT fit all. We need to tailor our approach, at least somewhat, to the people we're supervising. That doesn't mean we're wishy-washy or vague, but it does mean that we understand the subtleties and individuality of each employee.

What other ways can we help ensure our people know they are valued? What other ways can we help them exhibit the respect they want to give and we want to get?

A knot yanked in your tail

I once had a young lieutenant working for me who was an outstanding officer. He was one of those few people who really was a natural leader.

One day, though, he ran afoul of me. He made an inappropriate comment to me in front of other people. Needless to say, I took him aside and, in private, chewed off a pound of his behind.

Somehow, a few hours later, the subject came up between him and me again. Maybe I said I hoped I hadn't been too harsh (must have been a moment of weakness on my part). His response was, "No sweat, sir. Everyone needs a knot yanked in his tail from time to time."

Even though exchange happened almost 20 years ago, I still remember it. Once or twice since then, I have even said the exact thing to a boss after I got chewed out.

Sometimes, for whatever reason, we do things that are inappropriate. It's our boss's job; no, it's our boss's responsibility to yank a knot in our tails and help get us back on track.

Has anyone ever needed to yank a knot in your tail?

Lonely at the top

Here's another well-known, but very true saying: It's lonely at the top.

While this is a very familiar expression to most of us, it still seems to come as a surprise to many new managers when they move into a supervisory role. What the phrase means to me is that when an unpopular decision has to be made or when the outcome of a project or an activity isn't as good as hoped, the accountability lies with the boss...and no one else.

Like I've mentioned in the past, bosses can pass on responsibility to their team members, but they cannot pass on accountability. It stays with the boss (to read more on accountability v. responsibility click here).

So how do bosses often handle it when they start feeling all alone or singled out or blamed when things don't go right?

1. They tough it out and try to stand tall and straight...all alone. This is lonely, for sure, and a quick way to get burned out. This is not healthy.
2. Bosses sometimes try to share their problems with those in their chain of command, the people they supervise. This is not healthy, either, and can often give the picture of a leader who cannot handle the stress (whether accurate or not).
3. They sometimes try to blame others. While blame is not useful at any time, errant and desperate leaders can try to deflect the heat from themselves onto others. Not only is this unfair, but it is a sign of very immature leadership. This is a quick way for those leaders to get escorted off of the "credibility bus".
4. Smart bosses find a confidant or mentor to share their frustrations with. This person could be a colleague or someone who has no connection the the boss's work at all. A confidant/mentor can help the boss have a safe place to vent and then provide support as the boss figures out how to move forward positively.

What other ways do you know of that bosses use to keep from feeling all alone?

The future...head for it

WARNING: Trite expressions used throughout this post.

There's a temptation, when things aren't working out the way we want, to look at the past and remember it in a positive light...you know, through rose-colored glasses.

It's nice to have memories like that at times. I can remember a job I had or the people I knew and think of good times. I can remember great times my family and I experienced together. It's not so nice when they get in the way of moving forward.

If you take your positive past experiences, wrap your arms around them, wallow around in the mud with them, and spend more than a passing amount of time with them, then they're not helpful.

As we know, as we've heard, as we've said, time waits for no one. We can't be wasting what time we have on this earth dreaming about the past. We can look to the past on occasion because it's pleasant and because it can help guide our paths forward. We can appreciate the past for how it has shaped us, but then we have to put it back in it's appropriate spot in our lives.

The future is now. We need to live our lives now and not hold onto the past. It just doesn't do us any good. "Carpe' diem", sieze the day: for a just cause, for the ones around us, for ourselves. This is the way we need to live.