Life Balance

When I was a young Army officer, I was away from home a lot. When I wasn't in the field, it wasn't uncommon for me to put in 12-14 hours a day at "the office". One day, my wife and I were talking about tasks and priorities. She made the comment, "it's OK, I know we're #2 for you." It was like a dagger in my heart. Now, my wife didn't make that comment in a negative manner at all. She was saying that she knew the service was making its demands and I had to follow them. My wife was accepting that, mostly graciously. I, however, heard those words and knew my life balance was off.

I'd like to say I changed things then and there, but that's not true. My work/life balance has stayed skewed for most of my adult life.

As a boss and supervisor most of my career, I've focused on the mission and my people. I've told myself that was the right thing to do. There have been times when work was practically my whole existence and I put in the hours to prove it. What's wrong with that?

Let's not kid ourselves that all the extra time we put in at work is just about others. I told myself that my military career was a career built on that very thing...but it was just as much or more about me.

I could pontificate on this subject for another hour, but let me leave you with this. It is hard to balance all the priorities we have in our lives. We're almost never going to have a perfect balance. If we have to err on one side, let it be on the side focused on others: our families, our loved ones, and those around us who need help in one way or another.

I'm very much a "it's not a job, it's a way of life" type of guy, but the way of life...well, it really needs to be about service to others.

Service to others...it's not a phrase, it's a way of life.

Getting Down in the Weeds

This is where a lot of managers like to be. If you think of the levels of management as a pyramid, with few jobs the higher up you move, you can see that there are a lot of managers out there who spend a fair amount of time in the bottom or tactical level of supervision.

There's absolutely no problem with that. Businesses need lots of managers at the store/office/center level. A problem can arise when some of the tactical managers get promoted and are required to think at a more strategic level:

• Tactical = how / actions
• Strategic = what, who, why / plans

We, humans, like to "go with what we know" and think tactically most of the time, it seems. It's just that the management pyramid example also works when you think of the division of tactical versus strategic thinking required at a particular management level. If lower level bosses aren't trained and pushed toward strategic thinking (because some people think that way naturally, but most have to be taught), then they tend to continue thinking in tactical terms.

I used to work on a volunteer board of directors, most of whose members had little overall experience or aptitude with strategic thinking. Since it was a volunteer group, no strategic training was in place, and the directors were just called upon to use their best judgement. While their intentions were good and pure, they were often at a loss to think strategically about the vision and direction of the organization. Instead, they got down in the weeds, preferring to spend their time discussing the details of a particular problem (how much a piece of equipment would cost or what it's specifications were, for example). They were going where they were comfortable instead of letting the volunteer managers at the next levels down do what they were supposed to do.

In order to help tactically thinking managers progress to higher-level thought processes, bosses need to expose them to strategic issues, give them good examples of strategic thought, and then encourage them to practice thinking and sharing in those terms. Practice really does make perfect in this instance.

If you're a mid- to high-level manager, where's your level of comfort? Are you primarily a tactical thinker or do you spend more time thinking strategically?

What do you want to be known for?

You've seen it, haven't you? You work with someone who is just naturally talented. Perhaps James is a great speaker and presenter. He can engage a crowd and have them eating out of the palm of his hand. Maybe Tanya is a great writer and thinker. She can churn out emails and documents that leave awe struck with her brain power. Perhaps Joe is a natural leader. His people literally crowd around him because of his magnetism. With all the brains and talent these people have, some of them really struggle with being successful. Why?

Often the reason you see people with such great talent struggle with success is that they're not performing the basics. The examples I mentioned above have so much going for them, yet they fail to:

• Follow up on their commitments
• Arrive at meetings on time...or even at all
• Return phone calls
• Meet deadlines

In a word, they lack credibility. They cannot be counted on. Those around people like this start to say, "wow, that was a great presentation..." and "gosh, that woman's thought process, being able to dig down through all the clutter, is amazing..." Then the people follow up their statements with "...but, he never got back to me on X" or "...but, she failed to follow through on her plans."

You know how to fix it: be disciplined as well as talented. Any number of people can provide you a road map for success. You just need to follow it.

What do you want to be know for? Do you want to be known for your great talent? Do you want to be remembered for your credibility and reliability? Or do you want to be remembered as a "...but, he" or ...but, she"?

It's your choice.

Purposeful management

I like to share with managers who I've trained that they need to manage, do their jobs, and lead people on purpose, not by accident.

I teach about thoughtful management instead of thoughtless doing. I even say I'd rather break the rules on purpose any day, with thought behind my decisions, than just go about my daily routine in a thoughtless manner. I want the managers and their teams to be successful because of their actions, not to just squeak by because of thoughtlessness.

How can one be a purposeful manager?

• Think before you act: Do a quick, cost-benefit analysis and weigh your options, but don't linger. Purposeful managers are decisive.
• Plan: As they say, "failing to plan is the same thing as planning to fail" (sorry, couldn't help myself...had to share it).
• Train and Execute: Ensure you and your team know what they're doing and and then that they follow their training.
• Review: Go back periodically and look at what you and your team has done and not done so you can make corrections moving forward.

I never want to be known as someone who flies by the seat of his pants. As Charles Emerson Winchester, a character from the TV show M*A*S*H, said during one episode: "I do one thing, I do it very well, and then I move on." Ditto to that, Charles, except that we often don't have the luxury of focusing on only one thing at a time. Still, I hope you get the gist of what I'm trying to convey here.

What other ways do you know of to manage purposefully?

Servant Leadership...in Reverse

There are those who consider themselves servant leaders. These are leaders who work to help ensure their people flourish and succeed; not the other way around. I definitely subscribe to this type of leadership. If we empower our folks to exceed expectations in the pursuit of the mission, then it will help ensure we succeed, as well.

There is a temptation for some servant leaders to try to be all things to all people, to be larger than life, and to show they can handle anything. This temptation is a dangerous one because no one can do everything. Working with this mindset can overload even the best managers and leaders, potentially causing failure for the individual and the entire team. Teamwork can suffer when service only flows one way.

To be a true servant leader, sometimes you have to let others help you. Sometimes you have to let your aura of power and strength drop and show you are human. When you are in need, whatever that need may be, it's your duty to give others the opportunity to help you. Two-way support, just like two-way communication, is a sign of a healthy relationship between two or more people.

If you're a strong servant leader, then you've modeled what selfless service looks like. Now, give your people the opportunity to practice what they've learned from you, not only on their customers, but on their fellow team members, too...including you.

The Mood is on You

Have you ever heard the saying "if Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy"? Obviously, whoever came up with that saying was indicating that "Mama" affected the mood around the house. If she was upset, everybody was upset. If people weren't upset before they ran into Mama, they would be afterwards.

I do believe it's true, that in the workplace, if the boss isn't happy, nobody's happy. As a manager, do you realize the power that you wield? You set the tone for how the office will operate -- maybe for a particular day or maybe overall.

If you're a manager who wants to have a generally happy workplace for yourself and your people, then you've got to ensure that you project a positive and happy aura as much as possible. Now, it's not reasonable to think that any boss or manager is going to be in a good mood every day or that his or her life will always be hunky-dory. What I am saying is that you need to realize how your actions affect everyone around you in the office.

I guess it's fine to feel however you want to feel, but you owe it to your people -- the people who do the work, complete the mission, and make the operation "operate" -- to act like you're doing OK, to show you have a good handle on whatever situations are going on, and to help them feel they should be comfortable with you in charge. Let's face it, when workers are "down", their productivity suffers.

I challenge you to step back and take a look at yourself. Do you drag into the office in the morning? Do you grouse and complain about your boss or the leadership of the company? Do you whine about how business stinks? Do you just act depressed, in general?

If not, congratulations. Your work environment may be a pretty positive one. If so, STOP IT. Act positive and give your team another chance to be successful and fulfilled.

Great Leaders need to be Winners

Maybe I should restate and say that "Great Leaders need to act like Winners". So what is this all about? Well, one can argue that, to be a great leader, you have to have followers...people who want to follow you.

Let's think about this for a minute. I submit that people like to be involved with the best...the best deals, the best meals, the best gadgets, the best doctors, etc. Can you imagine saying "I go to the 2nd best surgeon around!" People don't want to think they have to settle for 2nd or 3rd choice and even if they realize it, they don't want to admit it and often will move to rectify the situation.

That takes me back to the theme of this post: people like to follow winners. Just like I discussed above, team members don't want to brag about being on the 2nd best team or having a 2nd or 3rd rate boss. Even if it's not a completely accurate belief or assumption, your folks want to follow a winner.

Is this a problem? What if you don't always win? Is that OK? Sure it is. You don't have to win every time to be a winner and definitely not to act like a winner.

This might beg the question, what does a winning leader look like or what traits does a winning leader display? Some traits might be:

• Quiet confidence: You act like you know what you're doing (see my post on this).
• A positive attitude: Need I say more?
• Treating team members like winners: People not only like to follow winners, they want to BE winners, too.
• Managing by influence: Instead of with a heavy hand.

If you act like a winner and treat your people like winners...you most probably are a winner and life's a whole lot better when you come at it from that angle.

What traits do you think a winning leader portrays?