The Leadership style of Ghengis K, Adolf H, Mickey M

What in the world? This post is kind of a follow up to yesterday's regarding leadership and blogging (did I really write something that dumb?).

Did you realize that on this wonderful internet of ours, you can find posts and articles about the leadership styles of Adolf Hitler and Ghengis Khan all the way through to Mickey Mouse and Mother Teresa? It's incredible. Go ahead...I dare you...type in the name of someone famous, nice or notorious and add "leadership style" along with it in the search bar. Chances are you'll come up with something.

I know there are plenty of us out there who think we have something profound to share about leadership. I know I do...but I could be wrong. It could be that all my words are a bunch of gobbledygook. We've all got opinions of who were good leaders or bad and who showed great leadership traits when others showed very poor ones. If you look hard enough you'll find something to support what you're looking to find.

My take...since I do, of course, think I have something profound to share about leadership...is to read A LOT and observe A LOT and think A LOT. Use your brain to think about what's reasonable. Don't turn your back on any potential lesson. There's plenty of opportunity to see examples of great leadership in rotten people and horrible leadership in wonderful people. Just try what works for you. Be open-minded and ever-seeking. When you think you've got it all down, then you'll know you need to put your ego in your back pocket and keep looking for ways to improve.

That's a leadership thought from....me.

Leadership is like Blogging?

Huh? What the what?

How in the world is there any connection, you ask? Well, I like to Stumble, you know "StumbleUpon"? You click on a button in your browser and it takes you to a random web site. If you want you can choose just to "stumble" through Blogspot blog sites. There are tons of these sites out there. Some of them are similar and some of them are as different as can be. Some of them are pretty good and some of them just plain stink.

To me, that's how you can look at different types of leadership. There's no one specific way to lead because people are involved. In my last job, when patients would ask about their surgical outcomes, I would often say that if the laser was being used on a piece of plastic, we'd pretty much get the same result every time. But since we used the laser on people, while you could predict the outcome, it was never so certain because of the ways the patients responded to the treatment.

So are there any rules for good solid leadership? I think so:

1. Know your people.
2. Be respectful of everyone and treat each person as an individual.
3. Treat everyone fairly.
4. Look for ways to help others grow.
5. Communicate, communicate, communicate.
6. Work on an empathetic spirit.
7. Set reasonable expectations.

I think, -- me, my own opinion here -- if you work on the items above then your leadership will emerge...your own individual style of leadership that you hopefully tailor to the team or people you're responsible for.

"I'm the boss and can do whatever I want!"

Oh, no!

You want to take the express lane straight to employee disengagement? Start using phrases like this and you most certainly will.

Isn't this the response (or something like it) that we might give when we're strongly questioned by our team, when we're pushed about what we're doing? It's a very defensive sounding statement. I have used statements like this a few times in my career (hopefully not too many times). I had made a statement or ruling or pronounced some "thing" was going to happen or not going to happen and it didn't make sense to my folks. Rightly, they questioned me. I think, because I hadn't made a decision based solidly on facts or because I didn't totally feel confident in what I was deciding or because I had failed to keep my team in the loop (and then they could have helped me ensure I was looking at a situation properly), I got my back up. I felt backed into a corner and I lashed out with, "because I'm the boss, that's why".

What I needed to do was check my ego at the door.

Leaders are not great and wonderful all by themselves. They make mistakes and are not infallible. That's why we have teams...not just to have people to boss around.

We need to challenge our people and let them challenge us (respectfully, both ways). We need to involve them and empower them with responsibility. We need to help them feel like key stakeholders in their jobs or in a project or with some task.

Leading is not about being the boss. Leading is about inspiring and guiding and teaching and pushing our people to excel at their jobs...to make everyone succeed.

No Leader is Perfect

We all know it. Nobody's perfect and that's certainly true for leaders, too. Hopefully most of us want to be the best people we can be and most of us leaders want to be the best leaders we can be. How can we do that?

A couple of things come to mind right away:

1. Introspection. Another word might be self-awareness. Think about your actions for a given time period, a particular group, or a specific person. Reflect on whether or not you think you acted appropriately as a leader and what you might do differently or better in the future. The introspection I'm speaking about should typically be positive. The goal isn't to beat yourself up or to get mad about how someone else acted or treated you. It's about your continuous self-improvement.

2. Solicit feedback. Since perception is reality, our self-perceptions are important. Way more important, though, are the perceptions of those around you...your boss, your team members, your colleagues. Ask them how you're doing and what you can do better. Consider these:

~When you have a 1:1 conversation with a team member and give your feedback and direction, take a few minutes to let them provide feedback for you on what they think you can be doing better. This one definitely needs to have a trusting foundation or your team member will never completely open up, fearing retribution of some kind.
~Find a mentor. This person should NOT be your boss. I've had several bosses who've told me, "well, I mentor you, myself". No they don't. They guide and direct in a vertical relationship. What they do is totally appropriate, but it is not mentoring. In a mentoring relationship with a colleague or some other person you trust, it should be a horizontal relationship and you ought to be able to talk about anything and that includes your boss (how could you not talk about your relationship with your boss, you know?). It's fine for your boss to help you find a mentor, but this should be a confidential relationship where the boss is not involved (of course, confidentiality has it's limits and the expectations should be understood when the mentoring relationship starts).
~Ask your boss. Hopefully, you have a boss who values 1:1 regular discussions with you and you already are receiving thoughtful, constructive feedback already. If you're not, ask for it. I asked a boss one time what I could do better (we had no evaluation or feedback system in place at all). She said she had nothing to tell me and that I was doing great. The problem was that she had no problem telling me how I'd screwed up during the course of business. I think the problem was that she didn't know how to give me feedback so she avoided it. If you have regular feedback and guidance sessions with your boss, you should never be surprised come evaluation time (hopefully you have one). It should just be the culmination of all the work you've done with your boss throughout the evaluation period.

Bottom line: YOU are ultimately responsible for making yourself a better person, employee and leader. To a large extent, you control your destiny. If processes are not in place to help you be better, go seek them out. It's up to you.

Leaders ACT Confident

Now, why would I write that? Why would I write "Leaders ACT Confident" instead of "Leaders ARE Confident"?

Well, leaders should be confident. That's very true. However, the reality is that leaders don't always know what's going on and leaders don't always feel good about how things are going.

As I've also mentioned in an earlier post, leaders are always on display. The troops often take on the characteristics of their leader: fear, confidence, unease, strength.

So, part of our jobs as leaders are to keep our people feeling good that, even if the world around isn't that great (as with our current economy), the boss is in control and is confident of his or her abilities to handle the situation.

I used to tell my leaders 2 things:

1. Be There (I wrote more about this in a previous post)
2. Act like you know what you're doing.

Today, I would add a #3...Act confident, even if you don't feel it. Your people are counting on you.

Private Conversations

It's happened to you, hasn't it? You've had a team member or colleague ask you, "can you keep this between us?" It's not uncommon at all.

Now, if they start off your conversation that way, or with other phrases like, "can you keep a secret?" or "can I tell you something in confidence?, you have the opportunity to stop them right then and say, "you know, I can't tell you for sure until I know what the 'something' is, and then it might be too late so...maybe you might want to hold off."

The reason is that, as a leader, you have loyalty to several people or groups: the person in the conversation, your team, your boss, as well as the organization as a whole. Your ultimate loyalty should always be to the organization as a whole (even more than to your boss) so that can definitely cause a problem.

You're in a better position if someone says, "I probably shouldn't tell you this" because then you can interrupt and say, "then don't tell me". If they insist, ensure they know you can't necessarily keep the conversation in confidence. If they STILL persist, then it's on them.

The problem can arise when the person has already shared with you and then asks for privacy. When you are asked to keep some information in confidence AFTER it's already been shared with you, then you have a potential conundrum. You want to be someone who others can confide in, who others can trust. You may have even expended a lot of effort building a trusting relationship with the people around you...you definitely don't want to screw that up.

The thing is, you have your integrity to consider along with the loyalty. You can't assure confidence and then go ahead and share with someone else even if it is the right thing to do.

Honesty is the best policy when it comes to confidential conversations. Just don't let yourself get backed into a corner when the right thing to do is share the details with the appropriate party.

Bottom Line: Be prepared for conversations like this and set the expectations right up front. The better others know where you stand, the more they'll respect you and your conversations will be easier.

World-Class Feedback

You know, I've spent a fair amount of time writing about providing world-class customer service so now I think it's time to spent a minute on what we should do when we receive it.

OK, really, I'm just going to talk about one great way to reward someone for outstanding service.

I'm someone who has no problem giving constructive feedback -- both positive and the other kind, too. In reality, I rarely provide direct negative feedback to people who don't work for me...unless they ask for it. If they do ask, well, I try to tactfully and unemotionally let them know how I feel and what I think they could do to remedy the situation. Otherwise, if it's someone who is expecting a tip, I'll let my displeasure show in the amount.

HOWEVER, for those few people who just knock my socks off with world-class service, I try to make sure the appropriate people are aware how happy and impressed I am. When I share my feedback about the outstanding service I receive, I attempt to do two things.

1. First, I let my server know. in a restaurant setting, for an example, I personally thank him or her know how much we appreciated the care we received. I also write a note on the restaurant copy of the receipt saying words like "you made my day" or "your great service made our food taste even better" (I got the receipt idea from something I heard Zig Ziglar say).

2. The other thing I try to do is let the manager know. One time, I told someone how great a job she did and she said, "thank you very much, but if you really like the service I provided, please tell my boss." She was right. So whenever I can find a boss or manager or supervisor, I ensure he or she knows about the great service I got and who provided it. It's actually a lot of fun because most managers are used to getting complaints, not compliments. So you say, "are you the manager?" and you can literall sense them tensing up. Then you let them know, "our server was Tom (and they're just waiting for the bomb to drop) and he was really outstanding. Our experience couldn't have been better." Then you see them relax and smile and hopefully you've made their day, too.

We human beings, especially Americans, I think, are so conditioned to complain that we sometimes don't know how to say "thank you" for outstanding service.

When you experience that world-class service, don't waste your chance to foster that great work. Say something.