"He Who Praises Everybody, Praises Nobody"

If you're reading the blog on Thursday, 6/11/09, the "famous quote" for the day is reflected in the title of this blog.

Samuel Johnson, a famous British author from the 18th century, had it right. We, especially in America, I think, are so worried about everybody being happy and fulfilled while at the same time we, as bosses are afraid of confrontation, that we can often go down the path of praising everybody regardless...regardless of results, regardless of effort, regardless of attitude.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a strong believer in improving the lives of the people around me, but every one of us has the responsibility to do the best job we can do...all the time. If we don't do our best, our bosses have the right, no -- RESPONSIBILITY, to let us know and help us get back on track.

Some of us seem to think, as leaders, that taking care of our people means making them feel wonderful all the time. I challenge all leaders to look at taking care of their people along the lines of...

~teaching them good habits, like how to be efficient and effective
~helping them learn new skills and activities that will help them grow in their jobs
~developing their thought processes and characteristics to move their careers forward and achieve greater successes

...all in the framework of strengthening the group or organization, which makes us all better, AND can help your team members feel empowered, get promoted, and make more money (and maybe you, too, for being such an awesome boss).

Praise thoughtfully and judiciously...it's really the fair way, isn't it?

Efforts Don't Necessarily Yield Results

Wow! That's harsh, isn't it?

That's what I thought the first time I heard it, too. I was a young officer standing before my commander who was asking me why something hadn't taken place. He was hitting me pretty hard about it. I was feeling very defensive and said, "Sir, I tried really hard to make this happen." And you, of course, know what his response was, right? "Well, Captain Hall, efforts don't necessarily yield results". Man, I was mad. I already wasn't too crazy about this boss and was working very hard to please him. Then I get a response like this?

As you might imagine, this interaction stuck with me for a long time. Six or seven years later, a VP in my company made a similar statement when expressing his expectations in a meeting. I felt compelled to speak up, being "proactively defensive", and did a poor job explaining my concerns with his statement. Later, I went to him to describe what I meant and touched a little bit on my perspective. This guy was pretty thoughtful and he said, "how about this? I acknowledge efforts, but I reward results."

Now that was a statement that I could not argue against.

We're hired to get results. It doesn't matter the task...as long as it's not illegal or immoral, we need to complete what we're given to do. If we don't get results, our bosses can rightly hold us responsible.

After my "run in" with the colonel way back when, I should have asked myself these questions (I can't remember if I did):

Did I start the task on time?

Did I understand the objective?

Did I seek help from others?

Did I take the task seriously enough?

If there were issues that I needed guidance on or that I couldn't handle, did I take them to my boss for assistance?

Will I make these same mistakes again?

So, how can you work to make sure you don't end up in the same boat I did? Run through the questions at the beginning of the task or assignment, not at the end, like I probably did then.

When do I need to start the task to ensure it's completed on time?

Do I understand the objective?

Is there anything that I'm unclear about?

Do I need to involve others to provide assistance?

Do I understand the priority and weight of this task?

All those around us count on us to get results...our organization, our bosses, our peers, our team members. We need to ensure we plan and organize our duties to get the job done. If we don't, there's only one person to blame.

Servant Leadership...it's not a fad

That's what I'm talking about today...servant leadership.

We've heard and read tons and tons of stuff about servant leadership in the recent past. It's been a fad off and on in different organizations periodically. It was definitely a fad where I worked a few years ago. I heard bosses say, "ok, it's all about servant leadership now" and then a few weeks or months later it was on to another leadership buzz word and fad.

Give me a break. Could anybody tell me then what servant leadership truly was about? I don't know if most of them knew, but it sounded really good, didn't it?

From the web site www.greenleaf.org:

"The phrase “Servant Leadership” was coined by Robert K. Greenleaf in The Servant as Leader, an essay that he first published in 1970. In that essay, he said:

'The servant-leader is servant first… It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one who is leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions…The leader-first and the servant-first are two extreme types. Between them there are shadings and blends that are part of the infinite variety of human nature.'

So, this concept has been around for a while...for thousands of years, actually. To me, it boils down to "It's not all about YOU". Now, we're all human and we all have desires. Most all of us want to be successful. So how do we measure success and what do we need to do to get there?

When you read or hear words by such greats in the management world as Zig Ziglar, Brad Worthley, Sheila Murray Bethel, and Roxanne Emmerlich, you will hear them all say that you can't truly be successful, regardless of how you measure success, until you help others be successful.

Read Robert Greenleaf's quote above once again and ask yourself a few questions:

"Why am I a boss?"

"Who do my people work for?"

"What is my duty towards them?"

Leaders who spend the majority of their time working to promote themselves and ensure everyone thinks they're wonderful often end up alone.

Concentrate on taking the crap and clutter off your people's shoulders so they can focus on the mission and their success will become your success, too.

Going the 3rd Mile

You've all probably heard the saying "going the 2nd mile" in reference to efforts that people make to exceed the norm.

I would challenge all those who think going the 2nd mile is enough when it comes to service and providing a true "out of this world" experience.

When I was a teenager, I went to an event where the late Grady Nutt spoke. Grady Nutt was a Christian comedian and he was a pretty funny guy. One idea he shared has stayed with me for more than 30 years.

Grady talked about true service and he referenced the 2nd mile which comes from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount in the Bible.

You don't have to be a Christian or even a religious person to appreciate what Grady had to say. I'll do my best to help you get the picture since the details of the story are long gone for me.

During the era of the Roman Empire, Roman soldiers were allowed to carry out impressment on the citizens of the occupied or "protected" countries where the soldiers were stationed (If you know your American history, you might also recognize the term because British Navy ships were stopping American merchant ships and impressing American sailors to serve on their vessels...one of the tensions that helped lead to the War of 1812). Anyway, the Roman soldiers could "task" any of the non-Roman citizens to carry their very heavy packs for a Roman mile. When the mile was completed, if the soldier had any distance to travel, he'd have to "impress" another man into carrying his gear.

Picture a local citizen being made to carry the pack of a Roman soldier for that first mile, doing his duty. As they get to that first mile mark, the soldier is waiting for that bag to slide off the citizen's shoulder and land on the ground. Hopefully, it didn't have anything breakable in it because it might have had trouble surviving the fall.

Imagine the soldier's surprise when the citizen keeps carrying the pack past mile marker #1, doing more than his duty. Some questioning is seeping into that soldier's mind. Some grudging respect for a man of principles is starting to form.

Picture the soldier's grudging respect turning into admiration as mile marker #2 is passed and the pack is still on the citizen's back. The soldier understands that, in some way, this citizen sees value in the soldier and in doing his absolute best for another human being.

By the time the two part company, the soldier's day has been made. He's not just another occupier and the citizen is not just another face in the crowd. A relationship has been formed.

In a nutshell,

Mile 1: You've done your duty

Mile 2: You've earned the other person's respect

Mile 3: You've made someone's day and probably also made a friend.

Folks, we have an opportunity to make peoples' days all the time...to WOW and exceed expectations. This can apply to customer service or it can be about how each of us live our lives.

If we truly believe in giving the people around us the best that we have, then we need to think about going that 3rd mile. Figure out what the 3rd mile is for those you come into contact with, whether it's in your personal or professional life...and then work on it, every day.

Everyday Coaching, Part IV: Tips for Effective Coaching

Part of my 5-part series on coaching: Intro, Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV

This is the last of a four-part series on Coaching. In the last three sessions, posted over the last three days, I've covered:

Part I. Coaching -- Definition, Purpose and Application
Part II. Situational Coaching
Part III. Ongoing Coaching

Today, in Part IV, we'll cover coaching tips that haven't already been touched on previously:

1. Triangulate: When you're coaching for behavior modification with one of your team, think about there being three entities in the conversation: you, the team member and the activity or action being discussed. Then, it's not personal. And when discussing that third "entity", think about behaviors and not characteristics -- "separating the act from the actor" -- (e.g. "There appears to be an issue with tardiness here" instead of "You keep coming in late to work").

2. Let them know what's acceptable and what's not: Be very specific when you explain what activity is not working out and what you want to see instead. Help your person clearly picture "bad" and "good"; for example: outbursts at the customers = bad and a smile and bright attitude = good.

3. Do you have a role to play in the problem? Did your team member have a clear understanding of what was expected? Did you expect him or her to read your mind? What could you have done to ensure this problem never happened and surely doesn't happen in the future?

4. Feedback is a gift and if you're not providing it constructively, you're withholding the gift.

5. There's more than one way to skin a cat: Just because it's not necessarily the way you would have completed the task or duty, doesn't mean that it wasn't an acceptable way. If your people get the job done right, then that should be ok.

6. Success breeds success so don't dump all the changes you want made on the person all at once. Start off small or manageable and give your team member the chance to succeed. He or she should like it and feed off it for greater success in the future.

OK, so that's about it for me and my thoughts on coaching. Thanks again to Drs. Frankel and Otazo for their great insights.

REMEMBER: Coaching and Constructive Feedback can be impressive tools in a leader's arsenal and should be used regulary and consistently to help your entire team improve and flourish.


Good luck and Good Coaching.

Everyday Coaching, Part III: Ongoing Coaching

Part of my 5-part series on coaching: Intro, Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV

Today in Part III of this series on Coaching, we're going to cover ongoing coaching...meaning that leaders will be coaching regularly. If you read Part II of Everyday Coaching, you may remember when I said that coaching is a process.

Situational coaching opportunities come up regularly in any organization. Leaders have the opportunity to coach through an issue or let it go. As I mentioned in Part I, coaching, either situational or ongoing, is much less of an issue and much easier to do when coaching is, well...ongoing.

So let's cover what an ongoing coaching session might look like or include:

WHAT:

1. TALK ABOUT THEM...THE COACHING SESSION IS ABOUT THEM. The BIGGEST key for successful coaching is for the leader to have a relationship with each of his or her team members. Relationship? What do you mean by "relationship"? A personal relationship is very appropriate between any supervisor and team member. I'm not talking about being friends, but it is still a personal relationship. Reference my blog from May 28, "But I want my employees to like me" for more details, but, to be a strong leader you need to know your troops. You should know what's important to them:

~Family -- Do you know the name of your team member's spouse or do you know about the kids? Do you know about others important to your people? Do you know any details?

~What about dreams and aspirations? Do you know where your folks want to be moving forward or what they hope to get from their work or life?

As you get to know people better, and they know they can TRUST YOU (since you are obviously a trustworthy person -- don't worry, your actions will show your folks soon enough whether they can trust you or not), they are more likely to open up more and more. Then you might even find out things about their fears and apprehensions and might be in a position to help. If not, at the very least you can better understand how your people tick.

2. Other areas that could be included in a regular coaching session:
~Review task list
~Set priorities
~Discuss issues/problems that your team member might be having and/or you want to cover in more depth than you might in a situational coaching session.
~Development (as a leader, it is your responsibility to help develop all your folks)


WHEN/HOW OFTEN:

Like I mentioned earlier, coaching should be ongoing so it should be a regular event.
1. Put it on the calendar. I strongly recommend setting aside formal time for each of your team on your calendar so you can ensure the time is protected. There's nothing worse than missing coaching sessions on a regular basis because they get preempted or worse -- forgotten.

2. Schedule at times that can be protected. I know, I know, bosses are busy...often the most busy person in an office or organization. So what can be done to help ensure coaching happens? One suggestion that I really like is to have coaching during lunch. "Lunch? I don't even regularly get lunch." Ok, ok, hear me out. Let's say you have 4 direct reports. What if you took one day per week and had lunch with a different one of your people? You don't even have to go out to eat or spend any of your expense account (both of you can pack a lunch and "bag it"). If something came up during lunch time on a particular day, you could just switch your person to another day in the week. And, if for some reason you weren't available all week or a particular team member were out, you could double up on another week and it wouldn't be too overwhelming.

3. Meet monthly, at a minimum. Depending on how many direct reports you have, how busy you are, or how closely you work with a particular team member, you may want to schedule your coaching sessions as often as weekly. I personally like bi-weekly. The great thing about having scheduled coaching sessions more often than monthly is that things come up and if you have to cancel a monthly session (not postpone), it's a long time until the next one. Having meetings scheduled more frequently allows a lot more flexibility. You don't want to meet just to meet so if you're both all good with everything when a weekly coaching session is coming up, you can cancel that meeting without worrying -- you'll catch up during the next week.

WHERE:

1. In private. Coaching is typically a one-on-one type of deal and is no other team member's business.
2. Does is matter where? You could consider meeting at the office or even in your own office ("Is that a problem?" "Other people might see us talking") Nothing's wrong with meeting at the office since, as a very fair and involved leader, you coach each of your teams regularly...you're not picking on anybody. It may be more convenient, for sure. Meeting off-site presents its own challenges, like with distance, time, or potential cost (if you get food). Whether you meet in or out of the office, the point is to treat everyone the same and there shouldn't be any issue.
3. In any case, any place comfortable where you and your team member can be relaxed will be fine, although someplace where note-taking is easily achieved would be the best. I do recommend staying away from talking at a desk, especially your desk, since it could be considered less open and more like the conversation is a one-way "you're going to let them know how it is" conversation.

The more you coach, the easier it gets and the more comfortable you and your team can be with the improvement and support coaching can provide.

Tomorrow, Part IV, on Tips for Effective Coaching.

Everyday Coaching, Part II: Situational Coaching

Part of my 5-part series on coaching: Intro, Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV

Today, in Part II of our Coaching series, we’re going to cover coaching one of your team members who needs to modify their behavior or actions regarding a particular activity. The two essentials for behavior modification are:

1. Feedback
2. Goal setting

Let’s say that all the staff in your office know that world-class customer service is key for repeat business. You’ve taught all your folks that, worked through different scenarios and you are confident they all know how to make customers feel your office is the place they need to be. You’re feeling pretty good about it all.

Then, one day, you walk out of your office and see one of your team providing less than world-class service to Sue, one of your customers. Specifically, Bob was not friendly when she came in and barely acknowledged Sue’s presence.

OK, OK, you’re starting to get a little steamed…no, very steamed because you’ve worked so hard to make every customer feel welcome and a part of your family. But, either:

1. You’re a non-confrontational person who doesn’t like to make people mad (including your staff) so you're going to suppress your anger, fix the problem with your customer, and hope the problem goes away.

OR

2. You want to flame Bob, because the customer’s always right and you won’t stand for this.

Neither of these choices is great. Doing nothing is not an option and if you kill one of your team, you get the chair.

First things first…you get the facts from Sue (at least her perception). Great, you know how she’s feeling and you’ve made it all better with her and now you need to ensure Bob gets the feedback he sorely deserves.

The thing is, Bob’s a great guy. He works hard and tries his best, but he’s somewhat moody. If he’s not paying attention, he can give customers the wrong impression. So what do you do?

1. Talk to Bob, and soon, so you can identify the issue (the sooner the better after an “incident” because Bob will likely remember the events better).
2. Let him know your perception of the incident and issue (“Bob, I observed what appearded to be a kind of “Eeyore” mood earlier today”); then get Bob’s perception (he has one…maybe he didn't know there was a problem or maybe has a reason, like his kid is sick or there are money issues or there's something else that is affecting Bob’s mood). The best way to get the facts is to see all sides.
3. Provide your coaching suggestions based on the training that you and the staff have all done (“Bob, we all need to have situational awareness…how we’re feeling and how we need to treat our customers, regardless of how our day is going.”). Provide encouragement that you know Bob can overcome the issue.

Are you all done? Well, you could just pray and hope for the best. However, coaching is a process and you can’t usually fix an issue with just one interaction. So...

Next steps:
1. You need to observe Bob (and you’ve let him know this during your initial session…that you’ll be observing)
2. Give him feedback – immediately – when he exhibits the performance you coached him on or when he misses the mark (“Bob, that customer was putty in your hands…Way to go!” OR “Bob, there still seems to be an issue with being moody. Tell me about what just happened”).
3. Get back together and discuss. Provide your perception about how Bob’s doing and let him share how he thinks things are going, too.
4. Repeat steps 1-3, above, as necessary, until you're satisfied everything's under control.

Tomorrow, Part III: Ongoing Coaching.